Channel 9’s new ‘Love Child’ series iscompelling viewing. I was asked to comment on this series and as I was doing some research, I realised how much of that era I had blocked out. Being a midwife in the early 70’s was challenging, in many ways and the reason I hated midwifery so much at the time, was due to the appalling treatment and humiliation of women. I certainly couldn’t articulate that at the time, and I have since moved on to specialise in empowering pregnant women in making the right choices for them and their baby and demystifying the very broken hospital system that still exists today.

Love to hear your comments, especially if you have seen the first episode. This affected so many women, their families, the father of the baby and his family, etc. etc. and it is a great pity that Julia Gillard’s apology for these ‘forced adoptions’ got lost in ‘other’ politics.

http://channelnine.ninemsn.com.au/videos/mornings/?uuid=3188741800001

TEDx Sydney!! Wow!! what an amazing day. I was lucky enough to win the ‘runners up’ prize in the competition that ABC 702 breakfast present, Adam Spencer ran all last week. What I was most thrilled about was the ‘acceptance’ of my idea! which was:

If we want to create a peaceful and non-violent world, then we must begin with how we conceive our babies, how we grow and connect with our babies in utero and how we birth our babies. Through hypnosis we can examine our beliefs around childbirth, where these beliefs have come from, how fear affects labour and birthing and how hypnosis can lead to a beautiful, peaceful and enjoyable birthing experience. It is so important for a baby to have a wonderful connection with his parents, in utero, and a gentle entry into the world. We must start at the beginning.

MEDITATION IN PREGNANCY

What is it? is simply a way of calming the mind, making us more balanced and focused in our daily lives. It also enable us to awaken our spiritual potential leading to peace and contentment.

How is it done? there are many different ‘methods’ of meditation, from TM, repeating a mantra, mindfulness, and the list goes on.

Where is it done? anywhere you are comfortable and have a designated 15-20mins. DO NOT rush this process, DO NOT squeeze it in between meetings, appointments, or just before you rush out the door for work. Many people find early morning an ideal time, when it is more quiet and peaceful. Some routinely find the end of the day, just before bedtime, is most beneficial. Once you are well practised and you can effortlessly slip into a trance like state, you will find you can do it anywhere and anytime, as long as no-one will distract you.

What are the benefits? Meditation has been shown to lessen mind-chatter and enhance the natural healing process of the mind and body. It is often used to clear the mind and ease many health issues, such as high blood pressure, depression and anxiety. Meditation has a calming effect and directs awareness inward until pure awareness is achieved, like being awake inside and only aware of awareness itself.

Pregnancy? Meditation is particularly important during pregnancy. Often it is the first time a woman is introduced to meditation, which can be the beginning of an empowering life skill. Pregnant women are busy, with most working full time, endlessly attached to social media, Dr. Google, and speed reading as many pregnancy and birthing books as possible. A baby in utero reacts to his mother’s busyness and really enjoy’s his Mum slowing down and spending time connecting with him, quietly.

Inside Birth® is our wonderful new prenatal course for all pregnant couples, to attend at anytime of pregnancy. This powerful, deep hypnosis relaxation, will teach you to calm the mind, connect with your baby on the Inside, in preparation for meeting on the Outside. You will learn about the importance of being ‘present in the moment’, of enjoying each moment of your pregnancy, labour and birthing. These techniques, if practised daily, will lead to an amazing, peaceful, empowering birth experience for you and your baby.

40yrs of experience as a midwife, educator, trainer, author, hypnotherapist has gone into developing this program. Most importantly it works! If pregnancy, labour and birthing are enjoyable, with a heightened awareness and focus on your birthing body and baby, then once baby is on the Outside, his life will continue with trust, peace and connectedness. Breastfeeding works perfectly, there are no sleeping issues, there are no fears or concerns because women have started the journey, at the beginning of conception, with trust, belief and love.

Please join one of our groups and learn how to connect with your baby, and enjoy the benefits of learning skills to ‘still the mind’.

LABOUR IN A HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM! It was 11p.m. on a Thurs. evening when we headed down to Nepean Hospital. My client had been in and out of labour for a few days so was very pleased that she had finally settled into normal labour and was looking forward to meeting her baby. She had, of course, practised the Inside Birth hypnosis techniques, so was well prepared. Her partner had rung ahead to inform the hospital of our imminent arrival.

We were ushered into the Delivery Suite waiting room, where there were 4 other labouring couples with ‘various’ support people in attendance. Jenny (not her real name) decided that she could not get into her ‘zone’ in this environment so camped outside, on the floor, resting against the ‘fire escape’ door among other’s luggage bags etc. It did cross my mind that if there was a fire, it would not be possible to escape through this particular fire exit! We stayed there for about 3 hrs. with the other couples, in different stages of labour. They were very busy but, on behalf of Jenny and her partner, I pushed (pardon the pun!) for her to get the next available room. She has a very sad obstetric history, with several losses, and really needed to be in her own room, to find her own space. About 1 hr. later we got into a room. Finally! I started to set up the room for her and pulled back a curtain, only to find another labouring woman in a bed! we had been put in a 2 bedded room. The only toilet available to the other couples still in the waiting room, was in the room where these 2 couples were, so there was a constant queue of ‘visitors’ lined up to use the one and only toilet!

Following more discussion with various midwives, and much ‘polite insistence’ Jenny finally got her own room at 6.30a.m. the following morning and she birthed beautifully at 10a.m. There were still others in the waiting room from the night before!

Of course these labour’s are not going to ‘progress’ in that environment. Bright lights, sharing with strangers, being very self conscious, no access to shower, bath etc. all contributes to slow labour and in most cases, labour stopping.

What can be done? What should be done? In my 40yrs experience I haven’t seen this problem. Hopefully it does not happen very often, but public hospitals must have a back-up plan for this scenario. In the year 2014, in a major city, and a major teaching hospital, this should not happen. Love to know your thoughts.

Mind training for birth is no different than training for a sporting event as an elite athlete.

Leighton Hewitt has just won his semi-final match at the Brisbane International in 41 degree heat, against an opponent who is 9yrs. his junior. For those of you who may be pregnant or planning to be, I recommend watching a replay of this match, (way better than watching some of the horror programs on birth!). Observe his intensity, his fighting spirit, his focus, his determination, his concentration, and most of all be amazed at his total belief in himself. He has no fear.

Women need this total belief in their ability to birth their baby, the way they want – normally!

Unfortunately today, there is so much fear sold to pregnant women, that it is challenging for most to maintain their focus and self belief.

Hewitt, like many other sports persons at the top of their game, have a team of very talented, supportive people, who provide training, correct nutrition, psychological support etc., but if you are pregnant, then you too can have great support and education/training.

Book into one of our Inside Birth® pre-natal courses, and delve into your sub-conscious mind. This is a fascinating journey to identify your thoughts and beliefs about pregnancy, labour and birthing. This program opens your mind to what’s really going on Inside your mind, body and baby. You will understand how your baby’s mind is developing and just how much you can influence him in utero, laying down positive messages, which can be deeply imprinted in his sub-conscious, well before he is born. Developing a beautiful, loving and intellectual relationship with your baby, in utero, is the most precious gift you will ever give to him. These imprints will set him up for a wonderful emotional, physical and spiritual life.

Supporting a woman who has really got to know her baby Inside and is looking forward to the amazing meeting on the outside, is a joy. Watching her connect, talk to, guide and protect her baby, moving through her labour, enjoying the sensations of her birthing body is truly wonderful. Feeling safe and well protected is essential for a labouring woman to get into her ‘zone’ and go to her ‘primal place’. A doula will provide this safe space, so that a woman and her partner can truly enjoy welcoming their baby into the world. Do not rely on the hospital system, public or private, to be your advocate and understand where you are coming from and the connection you have with your baby. Do not rely on them to provide what you want, when you want it, and do not expect a safe bubble to be automatically provided. I have been in this business for a very long time and counselled so many disappointed women, who did not have the experience they wanted. The disappointment stays with them forever. Don’t let that be you. I would love to chat to you further if you would like more information about our Inside Birth® prenatal classes.

Nelson Mandela’s death has provoked a flood of his many quotes to be repeated and remembered with love and compassion. This quote is one of my favourites, which I hope the world really looks at, and takes way more seriously than it has been in the past. Education is the key to many of the world’s problems, especially poverty, which Mandela recognised and promoted well.

Our very own Julia Gillard, recognises and has been focused on the importance of education for a long time. In opposition through to her Prime Minister stint, her unrelenting message has been to draw attention to education policy. It’s a great pity the media didn’t investigate and explore these real issues with the same enthusiasm they applied to Canberra gossip!

There are many educators, politicians, teachers who understand that education is vital to our social, emotional and physical well being. What is lacking is a real understanding of where and when this education should begin. Most ‘experts’ in the field would agree that it’s way too late to leave educating until a child starts school, at around the age of 5yrs., most would agree that it’s too late to start at 3yrs or 2yrs. so when should we begin educating our children? What is the ‘ideal’ age to start. There has been much debate around this with many experts and policy makers disagreeing. We know that these decisions are reduced to the bottom line of ‘funding’. Governments do not want to pour more money into child care training/education, or school funding. What has happened to Gonski?? How can a Government not follow through with what took a huge amount of resources, money and research to develop?

Education of our children should begin in utero!

David Chamberlain, PhD, psychologist, scholar, international lecturer and author, in his new book “windows to the womb’ states “prenates are learning constantly from their experiences in utero, regardless of the amount of brain matter they have at the time. The emerging view of dynamic, responsive life in utero contrasts sharply with the failed view of foetal passivity and unconsciousness, calling for a redefinition of who babies are and what they can know and do.”

This book is an eloquent guide to the first nine months of life. We now understand that fetuses are sentient and aware beings. In this new climate of appreciation for foetal behaviour, sensitivity and intelligence, David Chamberlain presents new information illuminating the transformative journedy each one of us must undergo in the womb, including discoveies in embryonic and foetal research that support his own findings on the impact of the mother’s emotional and physical state during pregnancy. He emphasises the importance of prenatal parenting, which calls for “no-wait” bonding, long before birth and gives advice on the steps that pregnant parents can take to ensure the most nurturing start in life for their children.

So let’s go back to the very beginning, at the creation of life, and learn about connecting, teaching and bonding with our unborn baby. You will be amazed that when a pregnant couple enjoy this wonderful connection on the inside, this will lead them to an enjoyable birth, a wonderful welcome into the world for baby, which will set the baby up for life, with a secure loving start, and a healthy appetite for learning and loving.

Do your baby a favour and book a place in our Inside Birth® prenatal class, so you can learn about your unborn baby, how, what and when you can teach them. This is guaranteed fun and enlightenment for you and your baby, learning these deep hypnosis skills as well as preparing for a beautiful birth for you and your baby.

Homebirth after Loss: This is a truly beautiful and empowering story from an amazing woman
The Birth of Lena Maree
I dread the common question, ”how many children do you have?”. It
depends on who is asking the question as to what my answer is. If I am
feeling protective and guarded I just answer “two” and smile. But in my
heart it will always be three, and sometimes I tell the truth to the least
suspecting people. So, when I sat down to write about the birth of my third
baby Lena, I realized that it is impossible to do that without first talking
about the birth of my second baby, Noah.
Our much longed for baby boy Noah was stillborn when I was 22 weeks
pregnant, on December 7th, 2012. It rocked our world, and that of our 4 year
old daughter Ellie. We were all so looking forward to welcoming a baby into
our family. Ellie was finally going to have a little brother or sister. As a
doula I had supported countless women and their families as they welcomed
beautiful, healthy babies into the world. At the time I couldn’t understand
why this had happened to me. I had such a wonderful first pregnancy with
Ellie, and went on to experience an empowering natural birth with her. I was
so inspired by that experience that a purpose ignited in me, and I had
immersed myself in pregnancy and birth, became a doula, studied
HypnoBirthing, branched out into birth photography and one day hoped to
become a midwife. Yet now, here I was, faced with the death of my own
baby. My pregnancy cut short, my baby gone and our dreams of a homebirth
and a bigger family shattered.
I travelled through the inevitable guilt that a mother experiences – did I do
something wrong? Was it that piece of soft cheese I ate, or that time I fell
over, did I take enough supplements, was I being punished for not being a
good enough person? These questions are all pointless. They are also very
self-centred. I finally had the realization that I wasn’t the only being to be
considered here (I’m not referring to my husband Richard or my daughter
Ellie), but that Noah himself had a reason for coming to us for such a short
time – and for choosing us. Whenever I could poke my head up out of the
grief and remember that Noah chose us, that he chose me to be his home,
and that for every second of his life he felt nothing but wanted, adored and
cherished by myself, Rich, Ellie and our families, then I started to feel better,
and a little more sane.
I knew from the moment we discovered that Noah had died, that I wanted to
birth him normally. What does that mean anyway? To me it meant a natural
vaginal birth. Our private midwife Robyn was a rock from the beginning and
accompanied us to the hospital to meet with the specialist and plan the next
step. As my body was showing no signs of going into labour naturally, and
with Christmas fast approaching, a planned induction was organized for the
following week. Noah’s story is a whole other article to be written, but I will
say a few things about my birth experience with him. Most importantly, I
was surrounded by immensely supportive, compassionate people. My
midwife Robyn, my doula mentor (who also happens to be a midwife)
Susan, and my amazing husband Richard. Together the four of us were a
tight little unit in the hospital, all with the one goal of Noah being born into a
peaceful environment with as little medicalization of the labour as possible.
I wanted to be ‘present’ for his birth, just as I had been for the birth of my
daughter. This was very important to me. Some of those close to me had
suggested I have an epidural or some pethidine, and I understood that this
came from a loving concern for my emotional wellbeing. But these options
never entered my mind, just as they didn’t with Ellie’s birth. If there were
things to face then I wanted to face them with full use of my body, not lying
on a bed, and with full clarity of mind. I know that an open heart can take
you through anything, often quicker than if you dull your senses and prolong
those feelings and emotions. And most of all I wanted to do it for Noah, to
honour him and welcome him into the world as any one of our babies would
be welcomed. So despite the trauma of losing him, my memory of his birth
is positive. Ultimately, I feel that normalizing birth as much as possible on
that day was hugely helpful, comforting and meaningful to me. And that is
the feeling that I take away from Noah’s birth.
The morning after Noah’s birth we learned that he had died of hydrops
(heart failure) as a result of Trisomy 21. Our baby boy had Down’s
Syndrome. My legs buckled to the floor in our hospital room and I ran to the
bathroom, dry retching and crying from relief and sadness all at once. It was
nothing that I had done to him. And it wasn’t something that should
necessarily happen again. Despite the emptiness and pain, we also felt so
fortunate to have a medical reason for his death. I know many families who
still wonder what went wrong with their babies, and will never know. That is
an unimaginable place to be.
When I found myself pregnant again four months later, Rich and I were
ecstatic, but cautious. We barely allowed ourselves to believe it, let alone tell
anyone. We knew we wanted to have another baby but it took a few months
before we were emotionally ready to try again. We probably would have
waited longer, but I felt my age creeping up and didn’t want to wait too long.
It goes without saying that this pregnancy with Lena was quite a
rollercoaster of emotions. I would go for weeks trusting the health of my
baby and certain that he or she would arrive safely. Then it would just take a
few hours of feeling very little movement and my mind would spiral off into
the worst case scenario. Every ultrasound appointment felt like I was
walking to the firing squad, believing that we would be told there was no
heartbeat again. But our baby was just perfect. The first 17 weeks were very
tough. We didn’t tell Ellie, although she asked us a couple of times, and I
hated lying to her, but she had been heartbroken once and if we had to go
through it again we wanted her to be spared. At 17 weeks I began to feel our
baby’s movements, strong and purposeful – it was the most exquisite feeling
at last and filled me with confidence and calmness. We told Ellie around this
same time and she was over the moon. She came along to my midwife
appointments with me, and held the Doppler so we could listen to the
heartbeat, and used the pinard stethoscope like a little midwife. We planned
our much longed for homebirth, the spare room piling high with equipment,
the birth pool, towels, old sheets and so on. I’m sure some people questioned
our choice to have a homebirth, particularly after the loss of Noah making
this baby all the more precious. But that’s the very reason that we chose
homebirth. This baby was precious, and this experience was going to be
precious for our family. To us that meant feeling relaxed, calm, unrushed
and safe. This birth was going to be a family event, Ellie had asked to be
there, and what better place than our home to welcome this baby. I trusted
my caregivers 100%. And most importantly, I trusted birth. As the weeks
went on, this pregnancy became a joy and we were so happy. Also, after
Noah’s death I had joined a wonderful support group run by Deb de Wilde
and Belinda Power, where I met beautiful women that were all grieving the
loss of their babies. We bonded in a way that we couldn’t with anyone else.
Many of us had gone on to get pregnant again and form a Pregnancy After
Loss group. We met monthly, and this was hugely beneficial in coping with
the fears that crept in with this new pregnancy. Between my caring husband,
loving family, some understanding friends, the wonderful support group and
phenomenal private midwives Robyn and Hannah, I made it through the
pregnancy without losing my mind!
Lena was ‘due’ on January 1st, 2013. A new year, a new start.
We had expected this baby to make an appearance early, possibly even in
time for Christmas. She had been deeply engaged in my pelvis for weeks
and we just had it in our minds that she would be here before January. Yet
the due date came and went and I moved into ‘post date land’. It is
interesting what happens to our minds after the due date. Even though I
knew better and that this was normal, I felt adrift, unable to plan anything, or
go too far from home. I was frustrated and impatient. Our families were
waiting for news too, and my in-laws were leaving for an overseas holiday
in a few more days and were getting nervous that they wouldn’t get to meet
this bub before they left. To add to this, all the mums in my support group
had given birth safely already- even those with due dates after mine! This
played on my mind a little, and I had fleeting moments of doubt at our
choices. I tried to tell myself all the things that I would tell my pregnant
clients. Baby will come when baby is ready. Have trust that your baby
knows best. You are ‘overdue’ on a date that is an estimate anyway. You are
normal, this is normal. I even reread the wonderful birthsong from Anita
Diamant’s The Red Tent – “Fear not, the time is coming . . . Fear not, the
baby is at the door”. I found a wonderful and comforting piece by American
midwife Jane Studelska on the last days of pregnancy where she refers to
this time as ‘The Time of Zwischen’. It’s a German word for between. A
time when a woman’s vulnerability and openness are heightened; a time of
“in-between”. At the same time I had come down with a bad head cold and
could hardly breathe through my nose without fits of coughing – not very
convenient when I really needed my breathing abilities to be fully
functioning for birth!
As I lay in bed on the morning on January 5th, 2013, I smiled to myself as I
felt the familiar achey sensations of early labour. I didn’t want to get my
hopes up too much as I had been having plenty of warm up labour for days
that had not gone anywhere. My nose was still a bit blocked so we decided
to treat this morning like any other morning and head down to the beach so I
could dunk my head in the salt water. Before leaving, Ellie (now aged 5)
made a special sign to stick on the door that read ‘Please Do Not Disturb,
New Arrival Coming’!
This trip to the beach was extra special as I was continually aware of
tightenings and cervical aches and knew that my baby and body were getting
ready. I walked hand in hand with my daughter across the sand, my big belly
casting a giant shadow on the beach. People did a lot of staring and asking of
my due date. I relished the morning, realizing that it would be my last
morning pregnant. It’s funny how we can want something so much, and then
when it is on our doorstep we are already missing something else! I couldn’t
wait for our baby to arrive, but at the same time was sad to let go of being
pregnant and all the magic and joy that it brings.
At 11am, as I lay floating where the lagoon meets the ocean, Richard
photographing my belly poking up out of the water, I could feel surges deep
and low every four minutes. When a surge would come, I would stop
floating and kneel on the sandy floor and breathe up into the tightness. Then
it would pass and I would go on floating. It felt so refreshing and
invigorating to be suspended in the salt water, I didn’t want to leave, but I
knew it was time to start heading home to prepare. Things seemed to step up
a notch as we packed up our belongings and started walking up the beach to
return to our car. Instead of being able to continue walking throughout a
surge, I started needing to stand still until it passed. My daughter was excited
and fascinated to see me stopping and breathing, and then carrying on as
normal. On the drive home any doubts that I had that this was real labour
vanished as the regularity of the waves were consistent and getting stronger.
I was still talking as normal, but I knew that this was it. We have a lot of
steps from our carport to the house and I took them slowly, stopping to
breathe through surges. Rich wanted to know when to phone Robyn &
Hannah, but I didn’t think we should yet. I decided to have a shower to wash
off the sand and salt, and ‘see what happens’. Ellie curled up on our bed to
watch a movie, and I was happy for the peace to just tune in to my body and
what was happening.
Over the next hour or so I started to get dressed, only managing to pull on
underwear and a sarong as it was already too hot. I called our dear friend
Emma who was going to be our doula, take photographs and look after Ellie
if need be. While I was chatting on the phone to her I sounded fine – it was
really hard to gauge where I was at as mid-sentence I would have to stop and
breathe. We decided that she would get herself organized and come over
when we next called. I don’t know why I was so worried about calling
Robyn, Hannah and Emma too early. I guess working as a doula I had spent
many hours with women long before intense labour set in. I didn’t resent
those times at all, on the contrary, I loved being there with them. But now
that it was my turn, I didn’t want to bother anyone until I was absolutely
sure labour was progressing. What I had forgotten was that even in my first
labour with Ellie I had arrived at the birth centre 9cm dilated without much
ado. So I wasn’t necessarily going to realize the right time to call the
midwives this time around.
Time moved very quickly and before I knew it I was spending a
considerable amount of time on the toilet! Robyn offered to come when we
rang her. I was feeling the baby moving so I knew he/she was fine, but
nonetheless I was relieved to know that Robyn was on her way. From this
point on things intensified. My breathing turned to moaning, which extracted
Ellie from her movie for all of two minutes to see what was going on. What
are you doing Mumma? Having the baby my darling. Oh.
The pool was sitting there ready for me, but I didn’t think to get into it. I
think I was worried about getting in too early. I desperately wanted a
waterbirth as I had not ended up with that for Ellie’s birth.
I was sitting on the toilet again absolutely convinced that I needed to poo
when my midwife Robyn arrived at 2:35pm. I would get off the toilet
between contractions as I found it much more comfortable to be on all fours
or kneeling during the surges, as opposed to sitting. Just as Robyn walked
into the bathroom a contraction dropped me to my knees onto the bathroom
floor. It was a big one, surprising Robyn and myself and spurring us into
action. Robyn told Rich to call Hannah to come, and then checked the baby
with the Doppler – all was perfect. Robyn said very calmly “Are you still
wanting a waterbirth?”, I said yes, and her reply was “well you better get in
there, this baby is coming”. I couldn’t believe my ears. Despite all the
evidence, I was in complete denial that I was about to give birth. The
moment that I had dreamed of for so long, and had grieved over losing with
Noah, had finally arrived. It was all happening so fast, I wanted to slow it
down. That’s like trying to stop a giant wave from crashing on you by
holding out your pinky finger. I got to my feet and rushed down the hall
towards the birth pool and scrambled in. Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh that feels
soooooo goooooooood. I’d heard so many women say that same thing so
many times, and its SO TRUE! I wondered why I had waited so long to get
in! The warm water comforted and embraced me to the very depth of my
being. It was complete relaxation – for all of a minute before the next surge
rolled in. I heard myself saying ‘oh no not yet’, and I knew that I needed to
fully surrender to this birth, not try to hold it back. I wanted to hold on to
this incredible feeling in the water, and I felt I needed time to gather myself.
But there was no time before the next surge swept over me and I was gone
again in a wave of breathing and moaning.
In between surges I sunk back against the birth pool wall and enjoyed the
blissful moments of stillness. I clearly remember gazing out across our deck
– the pool was set up right in front of the bifold doors that were wide open,
with a view across the valley. I stared into the blue Summer sky, everything
peaceful and quiet, a single bird soared across the sky. I was in a place of
utter peace in that moment. And gratitude that this was in fact an amazing
experience, as up until that moment I had sort of felt like I had been swept
away with the intensity of it all. Ellie had come out of the bedroom and was
now close to the pool. She came right to me and put her hand on my arm and
kissed my forehead. I was very conscious of her presence and even though
we had prepared her as much as possible for the birth throughout my
pregnancy, I was still looking out for her to make sure she was ok. I was
worried that I was making too much noise, but then the surge would pass
and I would look over to her and ask her how she was and tell her that I’m
fine and I feel good, it helps mummy to make these noises and the baby is
coming soon.
It seemed that within minutes of getting into the birth pool my body started
pushing without any assistance from me. I had longed to feel this sensation.
With Ellie’s birth I had received directed pushing for a long time, long
before I felt the urge to push. I believe that this prolonged my second stage
with her and also played a role in my 2nd degree tears. So it was with awe
that this time I felt my baby’s head moving down the birth path, bulging
forward and back, all on its own, I was a mere passenger on this ride. Ellie
announced that she was going down the other end of the pool to be near
Robyn so she could see the head come out. On the next surge, sure enough,
Ellie said “I can see the head Mumma!”. I was in shock. Surely she couldn’t
see the head yet? Robyn had only just arrived 15 minutes ago! But then I
felt the familiar sting of crowning, and my baby’s head revealed itself a little
more. I reached down and felt the hard head of my darling baby just inside
me. I can still feel my disbelief. I felt as though my body was racing way
ahead of my mind and I couldn’t catch up. I also think I had the birth
pictured differently. First of all I thought it would be at night – yet here we
were in bright daylight on a 30 degree summer’s day. My brain wasn’t
computing that this was it. At some point just after I got into the pool Rich
had stopped getting things organized and came behind me, resting his hands
on my shoulders. We were all there. Rich, Ellie, Robyn, Emma, me –
everyone but Hannah! Hannah who had supported me so much after Noah
died, and throughout this pregnancy. But this baby wasn’t going to wait for
anyone, and at 3:02pm my hand rested on my baby’s head as it oozed out
into the water. An indescribable feeling, and instant relief. I lay still and just
breathed and stroke my baby’s silky hair as it floated in the pool. I felt my
baby turn and the final surge came, and with it a sudden feeling that I
couldn’t do it. I heard Robyn say “yes you can” very matter of factly and
with a good push her shoulders were born and I reached down with Robyn to
bring her up through the water. I will never forget her little pixie face
coming towards me. I was overwhelmed with love and surprise. Who was
this precious creature? It had taken us so long to acknowledge this
pregnancy, for fear of losing our baby and being devastated again, so it
seemed almost a miracle to me that this little person was in front of me now.
After a few moments of euphoria and snuggles, Rich, Ellie and I decided to
check to see if it was a boy or girl. Ellie had wanted a sister very much all
along, so it was with boundless joy and emotion that we discovered we had
another beautiful daughter, and that Ellie had her dream come true baby
sister. Hannah arrived just minutes after the birth to find us all cooing over
this brand new little girl – who also happens to share her birthday with
Robyn!
The time after birth was nothing short of magical, and the very reason that
we chose to birth at home. I would give birth over and over just to have
those hours again. Rich topped the pool up with hot water and Lena and I
stayed there for over 1.5 hours. No-one was rushing us to get out, or be
anywhere else. Lena’s placenta came in its own time and remained attached
to her for two hours. We floated her through the warm bath, snuggled her,
gazed at her and she had her first suckle at the breast. Rich got into the pool
and had time with her too. One of my favourite photos is of Rich and I
holding Lena in the birth pool while I sip on a cup of tea, and Ellie is
holding our cat introducing her to the new baby. All in the middle of our
lounge room, with the Christmas tree in the background. If that doesn’t say
normal I don’t know what does!
Lena Maree, named after two great-grandmothers and two grandmothers,
has brought so much happiness and laughter to our life as a family. She is a
funny, bright little blessing and I thank her so much every day for coming to
us.

Women cannot birth without medical help! This is what the obstetrician said when a client of mine asked about natural birth! She wants a normal birth, without intervention, and asked the obstetrician his views on natural birth. The ‘discussion’ lasted an hour – indeed a long consultation! Below is a summary:

1. Women need my medical help to birth!

2. No, you cannot ‘deliver’ your baby’s head and shoulders, that would be dangerous, you need me there for that! and then if everything is O.K. I will ‘allow’ you to touch baby’s head.

3. Of course you will need an episiotomy, I do them routinely on all first time women, but if you really want to do it naturally, and tear right down to your bum, then go ahead!

4. No I will not take a back seat and just ‘be there’. I will be providing medical assistance.

5. No you and your partner cannot birth baby by yourselves and be the only ones to touch baby! “See all these diplomas hanging on my wall – it took me 17years to get these, and I have ‘delivered’ thousands of babies. How many have you delivered?

6. “We had a dead baby come into the hospital last week from a homebirth – do you want to have a dead baby” (this, to a woman who has had a previous stillbirth!!!!!)

7. ” Who have you been talking to?? – those hippy midwives or doulas or anyone who lives in the mountains (i.e. the Blue Mountains!)”

8. “Anyway, it is all a moot point, as you are now nearly 32 wks. pregnant and baby is breech so no doubt you will be having a caesarean”!

It went on and on. He was rude, arrogant, dismissive, disrespectful, uncaring and I could go on and on!

Problem: There is no accountability for an obstetrician in that office – permission to say and do whatever, including brainwashing women for their own advantage.

Problem: A true lack of any understanding or knowledge about how a woman’s body is designed to labour and birth WITHOUT his help.

Problem: How many pregnant women attend an obstetrician, and come away, after that first visit, convinced they can have their ‘normal, natural birth they so desire’. Answer: unfortunately there are many, who understandably believe the man in the white coat. The sales pitch is very convincing.

Problem: Why do so many women believe they do need a doctor? Answer: because that’s the overwhelming message the media sells

Problem: an obstetrician is really between a rock and a hard place. They are trained as medical doctors. They specialise (and some are very good at) medical intervention. They are not trained in normal birth, to take a step back at birth and just ‘be’ – that is what midwives do.

So if you want to birth your baby in your own way, shop around for the right caregiver for you. If you have any type of medical problem e.g. very, very high blood pressure, insulin dependent diabetic, heart disease etc. etc., then you definitely need the expertise of a doctor. BUT birth is a normal event, which belongs to young, healthy women, who don’t have medical issues. Finding the ‘right’ information and support is vital to ensuring you, your partner and your baby enjoy your labour and birth.

To hypnobirth or not? What does this mean? Many, I am sure are ‘put off’ by this term, so let me explain what you can expect in our Inside Birth hypnosis program.

Hypnosis – is simply a term to describe a trance like state. We are all, in and out of trance every day of our lives. e.g. do you sometimes pull into your driveway at home, at the end of a long work day, and suddenly don’t remember going through a particular set of lights?, but here you are at home – you were in a trance like state! Ever tried interrupting someone who is engrossed in a TV program and is oblivious to your requests? they are in a trance like state or that beautiful moment when we drift off to sleep. Children are very good at this, it is also called daydreaming or ‘away with the fairies’!

Why learn this for labour and birth? – because you too can learn to take yourself to a very deep, trance like state, being very present in the moment, enjoying your labour and birthing your baby.

What we teach? – over a wonderful weekend in the beautiful Blue Mountains in NSW, you will learn to ‘mind the breath and still the mind’. You will learn wonderful techniques for calming and relaxing your busy mind, connecting with your baby on the Inside and looking forward to meeting on the outside. This is a comprehensive prenatal program, including all you need to know about pregnancy, labour, birthing and a new baby. Understanding the joys of becoming a new Mum and Dad, and how the connection you develop with baby on the Inside will easily continue on the Outside making breastfeeding flow effortlessly, as it should.

Advantages of Inside Birth Prenatal Program? – a short, quiet, peaceful birthing experience, enjoyed by Mum and her baby. Due to a woman’s very relaxed state, her baby appreciates having a calm Mum and therefore enjoys a relaxed physical environment to gently journey his way to the Outside. All pregnant women and men have fears and anxieties to do with pregnancy, birthing, lifestyle changes etc. Inside Birth techniques eliminate all fears, so that you will complete the course and leave feeling empowered and confident, understanding that birthing is a very normal event in a woman’s life. It is, what we are designed to do, and works magnificently, without medical interference.

Dad’s and doulas also benefit from the very ‘still’ and peaceful environment. There is no other greater privilege than to observe a woman feeling totally safe and well supported while she works with her beautiful birthing body and baby.

Life Skill – these hypnosis techniques are simple to learn, you will love the daily relaxation practise and use these skills in many other areas of your life, noticing higher productivity at work, more energy, more relaxed, and healthier in mind and body.

Do yourself and your baby a favour and book an Inside Birth program today – it will change your view of birthing.

Antenatal classes are provided by many and the variety makes it very difficult for pregnant women to choose. It is important to shop around. Here is a list of questions you should be asking:

1. What qualifications has the educator got?

A. ideally look for a trained childbirth educator, who has had experience with pregnancy, labour and birth

2. What is the philosophy of classes being offered?

A. philosophy should be teaching ABOUT birth, and not HOW to birth! There is a vast difference. Women know how to birth, but they do need information ABOUT birth

3. Does the educator attend births, either in the role of a doula, midwife?

4. Do the classes give advice about the ‘hospital system’?

A. this is very important, to understand what the policies, procedures are and how to negotiate

5. What is the focus of the antenatal classes?

A. Look for classes that focus on giving invaluable knowledge, confidence and empowerment.

All enquiries welcome for our Inside Birth antenatal classes, which focus on deep hypnosis, connecting with your baby on the inside and outside, and skills to enjoy your labour and birth. Contact Susan Ross directly on: 0419606171, if you want to empower your way to the beautiful connection in this photo.

The new federal government appears to be on a cost cutting, slash and burn mission! Seems they are focused on refugees, (they appear to have no understanding or connection on a human level, whatsoever), also carers – my neighbour who is the primary carer for her 95yr old, bedridden and dementia mother, has had her carers allowance cut in half! Now they are targetting new mothers (see below). There are many of us, who are normal, hard working Aussie’s who could, no doubt, find many ‘other’ government excesses, that could easily be cut, without affecting the core of human morality, kindness, compassion and understanding of the ‘bigger picture’. Why can’t they?

Midwife charged with murder! Wow! To all midwives, doulas, childbirth educators, and anyone interested in birthing, this is a must read. Whilst I don’t know anything about the case, except this article, it does make one think about how we all practise and that hopefully this could never happen in Australia.

http://www.stephaniedawn.com/

Are your thoughts your own?

Even if you are only a moderate consumer of mass media, newspapers, magazines, TV etc., there is a good chance that your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs, are not totally yours. The media spend millions of dollars on consultants who tell them how to make your thoughts be their thoughts. And it works! This has the effect of sterilising the thinking of an individual. It causes a levelling to an ‘average’ and stifles individual thoughts. Is this good for you? Well, perhaps if you want to be ‘average’ but surely, when it comes to pregnancy and birthing you want to be an outstanding, thinking individual, capable of making well thought out decisions on behalf of your baby.

It is challenging for all pregnant women to step outside the mass media bombardment messages, which focus so much on the negative. That’s why I encourage you to book into our Inside Birth® prenatal class and learn about retraining your brain to tap into your instinctive birthing abilities. This deep hypnosis will change your thoughts, attitudes and beliefs, focusing on the positive and beautiful birth that is absolutely possible for the majority of women. You will be amazed at what your imagination can reveal to you.

The way we birth our babies is important. I have been promoting this for many years, so it is good to see this type of research confirming that how we give birth to our babies, without medical interference, is crucial to the long term physical, and psychological health of each person.

There are 3 simple steps to guarantee a beautiful, positive birth experience for Mum and baby

• Shop around for the right caregiver and place to birth (Birth Right can guide you)
• Employ a Birth Right doula, who will provide invaluable information and support
• Attend Inside Birth prenatal course and learn about the power of hypnosis for birthing

It does make you wonder what type of person goes into politics? In my experience there are ‘bastards’, as Nicola Roxon so elegantly explains, in all types of business, BUT to withstand the blatant cruelty of politics, must surely require a unique personality.

Is this a good thing?

Does it mean our politicians are so very, very strong and quickly develop some internal armoury to protect themselves from the constancy of criticism and cruel remarks?

Do they all secretly have therapists who help to support and navigate them through these tough times of being a politician?

Or do they just have such enormous ego’s and a huge self belief that will survive all attacks?

I find it hard to imagine that neither Julia Gillard, nor Kevin Rudd, did not spend much of their private time, in floods of tears! I imagine that time might be sitting on the loo, or standing in the shower, relaxing in a bath, and just having a bloody good cry!

These stories are disturbing. We need to be much kinder to each other. It is not hard. Where is the genuine debate, truly standing up for what one believes? This is NOT a nice side of a human being.

Show the passion but do it with respect.

The Sandor Earl interview on Channel 9 Footy Show last night was compelling viewing. I urge you to watch it in full. You may be wondering what this has to do with pregnancy?? – well, I found many similarities with what happens to pregnant women. Here is a young person who trusted a scientist/doctor in authority. He apparently did not question what, why or how. Of course he didn’t! because he appears to be a well brought up young man who believes that anyone in authority, especially someone in a white coat, is to be trusted.

FALLOUT -the fallout for him has obviously been disastrous as it is for pregnant women who have blind trust and faith in what their family, friends and well meaning colleagues advise them about the best choices for their pregnancy care and birth. Michelle contacted me this week at 9wks. of pregnancy, saying she has booked the private obstetrician, private hospital, private classes etc. etc. because her ‘blind’ trust and belief is that this private care is best. Michelle says her obstetrician equated the care with 5 star hotel status but if she went for public care, that would equal 2-3 star, at the best! Compelling argument when you don’t know what to ask, how to ask and why. Michelle decided on getting a doula as she wanted a hypnobirth in water, without any intervention.

Far from wanting to burst her bubble, I do have a responsibility to encourage women to shop around, especially when they are expressing a desire to have a waterbirth option (which is not available in a private hospital). I suggested she question the services that are available, to have a look at the public hospital and their services, and to also interview a couple of homebirth midwives. She rang me today, and having looked at the medical intervention statistics in a couple of facilities, including homebirth, and asking the ‘right’ questions, she has cancelled her booking in the private system and booked a continuity midwifery model of care in the public hospital, booked into our hypnobirth Inside Birth course, and is in the process of booking a doula. She felt embarrassed that she didn’t think to ask questions, or ‘shop around’, and is relieved that she has been shown this insight early enough in her pregnancy that she could easily make some changes.

She no longer has fears, she feels relieved, comfortable and empowered by her choices.COME

OUTCOME -Michelle’s outcome for her and her baby will be a beautiful and joyous experience, unlike Sandor Earl. We must all question the what, why and how for our health. If you are pregnant and you want to know more then please contact me directly.

When a doctor uses the threat of ‘big baby’, it usually freaks out every pregnant woman. This is a common and very overused threat.

Ultrasouds : A woman is then booked for an ultrasound, which confirms the size of baby! – or does it? Many women opt for the elective caesarean section based on this inaccurate information. Anna was told at 38wks. that her baby was over 4.2kgs., she had a caesarean and baby weighed 3.6kgs. Melissa, who was pregnant with her 2nd baby (her first had weighed 3.8kgs. at just over 40wks. and born vaginally with no problems), was recommended a caesarean due to 2nd baby’s are always much bigger and her obstetrician estimated this one would be well over 4kgs. Melissa declined and birthed at 41wks. a 3.5kg. baby! These stories are very common. In my many years of being in this business I have never seen a matching ultrasound weight with the ‘actual’ birth weight.

Fears: When a woman is told her baby is too big for her to give birth to, or other comments ‘ this would make labour very long and very painful’, or your choice is an epidural and forceps, or a booked, easy to manage caesarean’! I could write a book on the comments I have heard over the years but these statements from a ‘so-called’ expert, of course causes women to be extremely fearful and feel totally disempowered. It conjures up extraordinary images.

Why: So why does this happen? There is another agenda. An agenda that is about the doctor and not about the woman and her baby. It is medically irresponsible to make these outrageous suggestions.

What Can You Do? TRUST!!! Trust that you will not grow a baby that is too big for you to give birth to. Trust in your beautiful birthing body. Trust in your baby. Believe that you are very clever and have grown a very healthy baby – well done! Most importantly make sure you have a doula that can be your advocate on your birthing day and support your choices

Waterbirth should be an option for all labouring women. Probably because we begin our lives surrounded by water, most people find great repose being in water. For thousands of years women have used water during labour and birthing, and find it’s relaxing and calming effect hugely beneficial. If Mum is relaxed, then baby is also. It is a beautiful, gentle, entry into the world for baby, coming from one water medium into another. It is a magic moment to observe a baby open their eyes underwater, as they are being born, looking relaxed and alert, eager to meet his Mum and Dad.

Birth Centres and homebirth are the most common options available to women who want this choice.

Not all midwives specialise in waterbirth and most obstetricians do not.

One of the many advantages is the birthing woman is in total control, as it is almost impossible for staff to have ‘hands on’ when a woman is fully immersed.

Shop around for a birthing facility that provides this service, and if your local hospital does not, then ask why not?

Another example of how important it is to have a happy healthy Mum and Dad, whilst growing a baby and birthing that baby.

Science Daily

Want to have a career that is flexible, challenging and unbelievably rewarding?

Then don’t miss out on booking the next Inside Birth Childbirth Education training in the beautiful Blue Mountains.

You will love learning how to teach these deep hypnosis skills to pregnant couples, with amazing results

Next course: 23rd-27th Oct., 2013 (early bird still available)

There is no more spiritual place to connect with your inner self, and be a part of changing the face of birthing in Australia today.

Energy flows where your attention goes! I invite you to come and focus on what goes on in your sub-conscious mind and that of a pregnant woman.

All details on our website or contact me directly on: 0419 606 171