At the first meeting it is important to establish boundaries around the service you will be providing. For some doulas they don’t feel a connection with the couple or are concerned about some other aspect.
EXAMPLE: a doula had a first visit with a couple in a city apartment. She was concerned there was only a single bed & the couple did not appear to have a good relationship. They did not have a car and wanted the doula to drive them to hospital. The doula discovered later the couple did not live together and his support was questionable. The doula did not feel comfortable with the responsibility of driving them to hospital in her car and felt very uncomfortable in his presence.
In this situation it is important for the doula to acknowledge there is no connection and advise the couple, via email/text that your are unable to accept them. Being gentle about this is important so take the blame and offer a simple explanation that is not going to offend, e.g. checked my diary and have double booked for your due date etc. Keep it short and sweet and offer to refer her to another doula.