Horror birth stories are damaging. When first pregnant, many women have an idea about how they would like to give birth. It is all very new, exciting and can be extremely overwhelming. Once the happy news is made public, the ‘advice’ starts and comes in from every direction. There is probably nothing else we ever do in our lives, all those big decisions, like buying a house, car, career change, that garners so much definitive and intrusive ‘advice’.
EVERYONE IS AN EXPERT
Or are they? Women and men initially get plenty of advice from family, then close friends, then work colleagues, then ‘other’ not so close friends, then social media, magazines, books, DVD’s, the butcher, baker and supermarket checkout person. And the list goes on………and then comes the medical advice from GP, midwife, naturopath, acupuncturist, yoga teacher, obstetrician……
Now you can think of this in two ways: firstly isn’t it just lovely that a whole community is showing ‘interest’ in a newly developing human who will soon be entering their world. They feel so compelled to make sure you take advantage of their ‘expert’ opinion. After-all it should take a village to raise a child.
Secondly: where is my privacy? Where is respect for my personal space? My head is spinning and this constant intrusion is affecting my clear thinking decision making ability.
WHERE IS THE ‘EXPERTISE’ COMING FROM?
Mainly from personal experience – often after having just one baby. The main spokespeople who directly take aim at a pregnant woman, are those who are reporting the horror stories. All pregnant women hear and read them. Interestingly the spokespeople who have had empowering and beautiful birthing experiences tend to stay quiet. These are the women and men who sometimes feel guilty about their amazing birth experience. The horror birth stories definitely outweigh the beautiful stories. Then there is the medical expertise?? It is very important for a pregnant woman to remember that it is just that – MEDICAL! Often flavoured with a personal experience. It is inevitably negative! It is understandable that for a pregnant woman she finds the constant bombardment of really awful stories very quickly overrides any ideas of a beautiful normal birthing experience.
DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER YOUR PREGNANCY?
The answer, unfortunately is always NO! But you should have total control. Birth is not a medical ‘problem’ that needs rescuing or solving.
A pregnant woman should hold all the power in decision making. All decisions made have an impact on baby and all decisions made are on behalf of the unborn baby. Horror birth stories are not only damaging for a woman but the anxiety caused transfers directly to the unborn baby.
TIPS FOR DEALING WITH HORROR STORIES – WHAT TO SAY
- “I’m sorry that happened to you, and it’s good to know every birth is different”
- “Stop them from continuing. Say STOP I am only interested in hearing positive birthing stories, especially as my baby is listening to all your words” (and they are)
- All women deserve to heal from a difficult or traumatic birth experience. This is something I specialise in so feel free to pass on my contact. My session does heal, Mum and baby and will ultimately prevent that person from passing on a horror story to yet another pregnant woman.
To increase your chances of truly being in control of your pregnancy and birth book an Inside Birth® prenatal class and enjoy the deep connection and hypnosis techniques that will empower you truly be in control. These classes are not just a once only program but provide ongoing support throughout pregnancy.