When I studied midwifery in the early 1970’s, men were just being ‘allowed’ in the labour ward. This was certainly considered to be a progressive move. They did however, need written permission from their ‘wife’s’ doctor, to be present at the birth (of their baby!) It seemed to me, as a lowly student at the time, that most senior midwives did not ‘approve’ or like this idea. Nor did most doctors. It was thought that Dad would most likely faint, be sick, or just be a nuisance and get in the way. It was routine for men to gather in the smoke filled (Yes, you are reading correctly), Dad’s waiting room, usually close to the labour ward, and wait for a midwife to announce the arrival and sex of their baby.
SO TIMES HAVE CHANGED…………….BUT
I see many women in my Hypnotherapy practice for a birth debrief and healing. They are often extremely traumatised. They are angry, questioning, and have very little understanding of the why, what, how and when. They often come with their medical records, which can be very helpful in putting some decisions into context – according to the records. However it is the very deep and painful emotional trauma where hypnosis and Time Line® Therapy works brilliantly and quickly.
WHAT ABOUT DAD
I am seeing more and more men who recognise how traumatic the birth of their baby has been for them. All the attention and resources are focused on Mum and baby but men experience the birth in a very different way. They often have nobody to talk to, or don’t know how to find the words to describe what it was like for them. Many men are ‘observers’ of birth – even those that are closely involved – but birth is not happening to them. They worry about the safety of their partner AND their baby. Through hypnotherapy men can heal and it often only takes 1 session. I always do separate session with a Mum and Dad.
WHAT ABOUT THE BABY
A couple will learn how important it is to heal the birth experience for their baby and will leave the session with lots of ideas about how they can do this together. Through hypnosis the ‘blueprint’ of the birth experience for the baby, can be changed.
NOW AND THE FUTURE
This healing gives invaluable insights into what they would do differently for the next pregnancy and empowers them with knowledge in future choices.
It is essential for the future emotional stability and well-being of Mum, Dad and baby to debrief and heal, so all three DO NOT live the trauma for the remainder of their life. All three must be connected as one.