“I received your brilliant books on Saturday and promptly finished the ‘Doulas’ book that afternoon. I didn’t want it to end. I’m almost finished ‘Birth Right’ and I just wanted to say THANK YOU.
I knew I was holding on to negative feelings regarding my birth, but didn’t know just how many. I have nodded along with your writing. Sobbed too.” Emily
Abigail smoked 25 cigarettes a day and really wanted help to stop. There had been many previous attempts to quit, with little success. Her GP referred her for Hypnotherapy.
Like many smokers before her, Abigail described smoking as a security blanket and a great friend. She began smoking when she was 12. Of course she knows all about the health risks and her main reason for wanting to quit is her 3yr old daughter. She currently hides behind the garage, in the backyard, so her daughter does not see. Abigail wants to be a better role model, as her own mother was an ‘absent’ mother.
Her memory is of Dad doing most of the parenting of her and two sisters. She has no memory of her mother ever touching, cuddling any of them, and totally disinterested in their achievements. Both sisters made a conscious decision NOT to have children, due to their awful memories of how they were mothered. Both sisters have gone on to have quite major mental health issues. Abigail describes becoming a mother as the best thing that has ever happened, even though it was not planned.
THE IMPORTANT QUESTION IN THERAPY
Do you know how you were born?
We all need to know how we were conceived, grown and how we were birthed as this relationship forms the first imprint, in utero, which sets the pattern of how we connect, time and time again.
When Abigail was pregnant, she asked her mother about labour and birth. Her mother replied ‘it was nothing! I just went into hospital and then you were born – all 3 of you were the same. I don’t have any feelings about it. It was a non-event’.
Powerful words! What had happened to Abigail’s mother, for her to be so disinterested and disconnected to birthing her babies?
ABIGAIL’S MUM – HER STORY
It seems she had numerous miscarriages prior to having her first baby. Was told by doctors she would not be able to carry a baby to full term. THEN THIS: she had a full-term, stillborn baby, following the numerous miscarriages. The overwhelming and unimaginable pain of growing a baby to full-term, and birthing that baby, only to discover they are not alive, has been too much for this mother to bear. The RISK of connection to her 3 live babies, after those events, has been way too great, and as a result she became withdrawn, remote and totally disengaged. It was safer – for her. The subconscious thought of losing another child was so unbearable, she simply shut down. It was about self-protection. Love and connection was not possible on any level. Abigail’s Dad simply stepped into the role.
THE POWER OF HYPNOSIS
People come for hypnotherapy with many differing presenting issues. Many, if not all, are linked to how they have been parented, from the very beginning (IN UTERO). It is often complex but through the power of accessing the subconscious mind (hypnosis) great healing occurs.
With a greater understanding of who and why ‘she is’ Abigail has been able to heal and stop smoking.
DON’T HOLD ON TO BIRTH TRAUMA
Imagine, if you can, the different scenario for 3 little girls if their mother had access to healing. If only, someone, had recognised in her, the very deep birth trauma.
Unfortunately these stories are not uncommon. It will impact your relationships and life. Trust that you deserve to heal.
Appointments are available for Hypnotherapy – via Zoom or in person.