It starts from conception, pregnancy, birth and through the first year of life.  This is the time in which vital foundations are established at every level of being:  physical, emotional, mental, spiritual and relational.

FORMING THE CORE BLUEPRINT

Experiences during this primary period form the blueprint of our core perceptions, belief structures and ways of being in the world with ourselves and others.  They profoundly shape our being in life-enhancing or life-diminishing directions.

CONTINUING HUMAN DEVELOPMENT

Optimal foundations for growth, including brain development, emotional intelligence and self-regulation are reliant upon optimal conditions during the period of conception, pregnancy, birth and the first year of life.

Optimal foundations for secure attachment and healthy relationships are reliant upon optimal relationships during the conception period, during pregnancy, the birth experience and the first year of life.

RELATIONSHIPS

From the very beginning, in the womb, baby experiences and internalises what his mother experiences and feels.  Dad’s relationship with Mum and baby are integral to optimising primary foundations for baby. Supportive, loving and healthy relationships are essential for optimising primary foundations for baby.

COMMUNICATION

Babies are continuously communicating and seeking connection, in the womb and on the outside.  Relating and responding honours their need for communication and supports optimal development.

BONDING

Birth and bonding is a key developmental process for Mum, baby and Dad,that form core patterns with life-long implications.

The very best baby/mother outcomes occur when Mum feels empowered and supported and when the normal process of birthing is allowed to unfold with no interventions and no interruption in Mum/baby connection and physical contact.  If any separation of baby from Mum occurs, continuity of Dad’s contact and connection with baby is vital.

Baby responds and thrives best when communicated with directly by Mum and Dad only, when left undisturbed with Mum, and when the process of birthing supports baby’s ability to orient and process the series of events.

HEALING

When there are unresolved issues or less than optimal experiences during conception, pregnancy, birth and the first postnatal year, life diminishing patterns often underlie health issues, stress behaviours, difficulty in self-regulation, learning, attachment and other disorders that appear throughout life.

PREGNANCY LEARNING

The very best way to have support and learning throughout this period is to employ a doula and enrol in Inside Birth® prenatal classes, which teaches communication and connection with baby in the womb and beyond.  Learn these techniques for an optimal pregnancy and birthing experience.

https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/

Understanding how your mind works and applying some simple techniques will allow you to achieve lasting transformational change in your life.

DIALOGUE WITH YOUR MIND

The dialogue you have with your mind is very important.  That’s the little voice you hear and feel telling you work is too hard, I’m scared about that exam or test, I’m worried I will fail, It’s too risky, I can’t, I will try but probably won’t succeed, I want to lose weight but can’t stop eating chocolate, I should exercise but can’t be bothered, life is a struggle.  This is negative language which the subconscious mind cannot compute.

Your mind does what it really thinks you want to do and responds to two things only:

• The words you say to yourself AND
• The pictures you make in your head

The mind loves familiarity because it is safe and resists what is unfamiliar.

Your mind is always listening and your words and thoughts are powerful.  Every word you say and thought you think becomes a blueprint that your mind and body turns into reality.

YOUR MIND’S JOB

Your mind’s job is to act on the words you tell it.  Your job is to give your mind much more powerful, descriptive and positive words and pictures.

HYPNOTHERAPY

The most powerful potential comes from your mind.  What happens in hypnosis is your mind is more willing to change.  When you understand how and why the mind operates then you can work with it, instead of against it, to get all the changes you want.  Hypnosis excites the imagination which is easily accessed due to the very deep relaxed trance like state you are in.

Hypnotherapy is by far the easiest way to make the changes in your life you really want.

http://susanrosshypnotherapy.com/talk-to-me/

What is happening for your unborn baby cocooned in a warm bubble, floating gently and listening, listening, listening….absorbing all that is going on in the outside world, particularly with his Mum and immediate family – his Dad, siblings and Grandparents.   What is he hearing?  What is he learning?  What is he understanding?

It is not that long ago the medical consensus was, the ‘foetus’ was simply in an ongoing state of multiplying and dividing cells, forming organs, blood vessels etc. and at birth was a virtual blank slate, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.  THIS IS NOT TRUE.  He is definitely NOT a blank slate.   There is much research to show that the unborn baby is a cognizant and emotionally aware soul laying down his blueprint for life based on what he hears, feels and learns from his parents during pregnancy.  Babies are conscious while in the womb. They can hear sounds, they are learning, forming memories, and responding to your stress.

Womb life is the first interactive environment and the experience is one of a continuous relationship.  Bonding between baby and parents is as essential before birth as after.

WHAT IS LIMBIC IMPRINTING

The limbic system of the brain is responsible for our emotions and feelings.  Research by the pioneers of prenatal psychology, doctors Thomas Verny and David Chamberlain, among others, show that behavioural disorders in adulthood, are the direct result of traumatic gestational (during pregnancy) experiences and interventions during pregnancy and birthing.

Dr. Verny presents evidence that the attitude of the mother toward the pregnancy and the unborn baby, as well as toward her partner have a profound effect on the psychological development of the child and on the birth experience.  The mother’s pattern of feelings and behaviour is the main source of stimuli which shape the unborn baby.

SO IF YOUR UNBORN BABY COULD SPEAK………. WHAT WOULD HE SAY ABOUT?

• All the poking, prodding, ultrasounding, testing that he also experiences?
• And what would he say about all the negative stories and conversations that a pregnant women is inevitably exposed to?
• Everything you experience during pregnancy, physically and emotionally, STOP and take time to think about what your unborn baby would say? What would he be feeling?  Every decision you make about your care, including ultrasounds, testing, is being made on behalf of your unborn baby.

HOW TO CREATE A HAPPY HEALTHY CHILD

Focus on laying down a beautiful imprint by connecting and bonding with singing and dancing and reading and including him in all your conversations and be aware that we all come into this world with an open heart to receive love.  This is the first primal experience that is registered in our nervous system.  Every baby has the right to know and feel love and enjoy a positive emotional imprint in utero and experience a beautiful connected birth feeling welcomed into the outside, being touched and held by his mother only, breastfeeding and seeing the wonderful smile and love on his father’s face.  This simply sets the pattern for the rest of his life.

Learn how to enjoy your pregnancy, labour, birth and baby with Inside Birth® prenatal classes.  Your baby will love these classes!   https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/

Pregnancy brings with it much joy and excitement and then very quickly, feelings of being overwhelmed with all the choices that need to be made – together with the pressure of needing to make them immediately!

WHAT’S IMPORTANT?

Finding a caregiver, place to birth, doula and booking a prenatal class are all important choices that do need to be made early on in the pregnancy.

WHAT’S MORE IMPORTANT?

The most important question and conversation a couple must have is:  what role does Dad want to have in the birth?  Obviously there are discussions that must be had about parenting and different roles, given work plans etc. but the immediate conversation about Dad’s role during labour and birth is one that does not generally take place.

It’s not that long ago that it was an accepted fact that men did not enter the birthing room.  When I did midwifery in the early 1970’s, there was the beginning of an awareness around ‘maybe’ men had a place in the birthing room, although we were a long way off appreciating men’s rights!  In fact, men required written permission from their wife’s doctor to be present at the birth!  Imagine! But I can assure you that was correct.  Finally by the early eighties it was taken for granted that men would be in the birthing room AND provide ‘support’ for their partner during labour.

IS THE TIDE TURNING?

Fast forward to now and it is a ‘given’ that men will be at the birth. – no questions asked!

Is this a good thing?  Is this right?

Of course, becoming a parent is the most amazing event in a woman and a man’s life.  Many, many women want their partner to share every aspect of pregnancy and birthing but I wonder what would happen if we asked men what they want?

I have observed, more recently, that when men have the opportunity to open up (not in front of their partner) they express a very different view.

Case study:  Tom (not his real name) said he definitely did not want to be in the birthing room.  He did not want to see his wife in labour and felt that it was very much women’s business.  He was looking forward to being a very involved Dad but not at the birth.

Case study:  Daniel had sat through some private prenatal classes and was openly supportive of his partner.  When she went to the bathroom he whispered he could NOT be in the birthing room and didn’t know how to tell her.  Turns out he was very traumatised by a birth video shown to him in a private catholic boys school in yr. 8!

Case study:  It’s not just men voicing their feelings but increasingly some women are adamant they do not want their partner in the birthing room.  Talia wanted a doula – it was her 4^th baby and her last.  Her partner had not attended any of the births.  She stated it was women’s business and there was no role for him.  Interestingly he wanted to be there but she had the final say.

There are many, many more examples I could give.

What do you think?  I would love to hear your thoughts especially if you are or about to be a Dad.  I also want to hear from women.  Have you had the discussion with your partner?

A DOULA MAKES A DIFFERENCE

One of the very important roles a doula has, is to facilitate such a discussion.  It is important, for a couple, to acknowledge and respect each other’s views.  Of course, opinions may well change throughout the pregnancy, with good education,

BUT LET’S GIVE MEN A VOICE!

https://birthright.com.au/doulas/find-a-birth-right-doula/

Vaginal Birth After Caesarean

When your first birth ends in an unplanned caesarean section there is deep disappointment and confusion but most of all there is a lot of grief.  You have a new baby to get to know and there is recovery from major surgery.  It is a lot to deal with, and understandably, the baby’s immediate needs is what comes first, and is all consuming.  As you slowly recover physically and try to come to terms with your birth experience there is a lot of mixed emotions and a lot of unanswered questions.

Why did this happen?  What went wrong?  What could I have done differently?  Why did the hospital staff do this and that???  Understanding all of this is essential for you to have a healthy relationship with your baby, yourself and your partner.  Many women start to think about what will they do next pregnancy?  Some even give up and resign themselves to a repeat caesarean.  BUT there are very few medical reasons for a repeat caesarean.  It is absolutely possible for your next pregnancy and birth to be a beautiful experience for you, your baby and your partner.

4 KEY POINTS TO GUARANTEE A SUCCESSFUL VBAC

1. INVEST IN A BIRTH DEBRIEF AND HEALING, for you and your baby.  This is vital to ensuring you can change your next birth experience.  It is important not to carry the emotions from your first birth into your next. A birth debrief and healing will free you to enjoy your next pregnancy, labour, birth and baby. https://birthright.com.au/services/birth-debriefing/
2. HIRE A DOULA! There is overwhelming evidence to show that having a doula reduces the need for medical intervention by 70-80%.  A doula not only supports you emotionally and physically during labour and birth, she is your all important advocate!  https://birthright.com.au/doulas/find-a-birth-right-doula/
3. EDUCATION – book a prenatal class that provides quality education. Here, at our Inside Birth® classes we focus on changing the mindset.  The mind is the most important organ involved in birthing.  These powerful techniques are fun and life changing.  You will learn a deep understanding of just how simple it is for you to change your thinking about birth and turn it into a positive and beautiful experience. https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/
4. I RECOMMEND CHANGING CAREGIVER AND PLACE OF BIRTH. A doula will help you shop around for the right caregiver (midwife/doctor) for you and your baby.

HOW TO BECOME AN INSIDE BIRTH® EDUCATOR

INSIDE BIRTH® teaches parenting from conception, conscious awareness of the power of words, thoughts and our relationship to creation and birth.  The Inside Birth® Educator will develop a deep regard for the power of your soul and all that you are capable of influencing by thoughts, action and trust.

THINK ABOUT THIS:  We do not become a person when we are born, as we have already had a world of experience, and life, before our birth. Our experiences in the womb have a huge impact on both how our birth unfolds and on how we perceive our birth – two different things. There is growing acknowledgement of birth trauma, but think about this – birth only lasts a few hours  – we are in the womb for 9 months! We are absorbing everything around us! We are learning how to survive AND growing our body; learning more about life than at any other time. Everything that happens to us in the womb is imprinted into our body-system at a pre-verbal level and has a profound influence on our lives, and on our ability to connect and have fulfilling relationships.

We are conscious, sentient beings long before birth, and we benefit a great deal from loving, welcoming contact and secure attachment from the very beginning of life. Some people have a connection with their baby before conception, seeing visions of them, or having dreams of their physical characteristics, and receiving communications.

EDUCATING: Inside Birth®  delivering antenatal classes differently

• There is nothing more important than education.
• There is nothing more important than prenatal education.
• There is nothing more rewarding than seeing the profound changes that occur in a couple when teaching Inside Birth® concepts and the powerful deep connection that develops with their unborn baby
• Imagine how wonderful it is to truly change the often negative concepts of birthing, and turn that around to a wonderful, positive experience for Mum, BABY and Dad.
• Teaching Inside Birth® changes how babies are grown and enter the world.

Be a part of the Inside Birth® movement NOW and make change happen.

If we want the world to be a happier, healthier place, then we must begin with how our babies are grown, birthed and parented.

Book for next available training:   https://birthright.com.au/training/inside-birth-childbirth-educator-training/

CARPAL TUNNEL IN PREGNANCY

About one quarter of women develop some symptoms of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome during pregnancy. Whilst the symptoms can appear at any time, they are most common in the second and third trimesters when there may be greater fluid retention. The symptoms of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome include pain and numbness in the hands and fingers which may occur in one or both hands. It may just manifest in the form of mild hand weakness through to severe pain that disturbs sleep during pregnancy.

WHAT IS CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME?

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome occurs when the median nerve is compressed as it passes through the Carpal Tunnel, a tunnel formed by the carpal wrist bones and a band of connective tissue encircling the wrist, preventing the nerve from functioning properly.
The ‘tunnel’ contains nine tendons as well as the median nerve and so is a narrow place. The swelling and fluid retention of pregnancy can increase the pressure inside the Carpal Tunnel.

Other symptoms of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome include

• morning stiffness or cramping of the hands
• burning sensations in the fingers
• frequently dropping of objects

PREGNANCY

For pregnant women, the symptoms are most frequent at night or on waking. Shifting sleeping position and propping the arm up with pillows may help. Consult your GP or midwife if the pain and numbness interferes with your sleep or daily routine.

There is a lack of research into self-help treatments for carpal tunnel syndrome so you may need to find out what helps by trial and error. If in doubt, see a physiotherapist who may give you wrist splints, which can help take pressure off the nerves. The splints keep your wrists in a position which maximises the space in the carpal tunnel and has proved useful to many with carpal tunnel syndrome.

Therapies such as acupuncture, chiropractic, naturopathy, yoga and massage have also been beneficial to some patients. Please ensure if you are seeking alternative therapies, that your consultant has experience in pregnancy.

THE GOOD NEWS!  symptoms of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome disappear after the birth.

If pain persists after baby is born, then consult a Physiotherapist or GP.  Occasionally simple surgery is needed to relieve the pressure on the median nerve, which runs down the arm into the hand.

Pregnancy and birthing are normal events in a woman’s life.  Why then do so many pregnant women hand over their power.

It is almost universally accepted that a woman needs a ‘person in authority’, to tell them how to be pregnant, how to give birth and how to parent.

GIVING AWAY YOUR POWER

Many women don’t think too much about this until after the baby is born and there is time for reflection, the anger about what went wrong rises to the surface very quickly.  The anger stems not from what actually happened but why didn’t I know I had a choice and why didn’t I speak up.

Many women say they feel ‘stupid’ and strongly resent that all their power was taken away.  Women say things like:

‘my life was in the doctors hands, so there was really nothing I can do’

‘ I just left it up to fate’

‘I didn’t know I was allowed’  (this is a very common statement)

‘They won’t let me……”

‘What’s the use of trying? The odds are clearly stacked against me’

Subconsciously, hospitals are associated with pain, fear, death.  And yet we have an accepted culture of having our babies in a hospital.  There is an immediate disconnect here, given that pregnancy and birth are normal life events. Hospitals are very intimidating places.  They are foreign environments to most couples.  Many women have never been inside a hospital until they are pregnant.

HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR POWER

If you choose to birth in a hospital then you must respect the institution, the staff and all the policies and procedures.  BUT understand you are NOT sick and nor is your unborn baby, so it is important to make 4 wise initial decisions:

• Midwife/doctor to care for you and your unborn baby. Midwives specialise in looking after normal healthy women and their unborn baby.  Doctors have specialised training in looking after and fixing sick people and their problems.
• Place to Birth – Hospital/Birth Centre/Home – shop around. Organise to visit your local hospital – what are the facilities – Delivery Suite and/or Birth Centre?   Homebirth – interview at least 2 homebirth midwives
• Choose a doula – shop around and meet at least 2 doulas. Your doula will encourage your questioning and decision making.  She will be your personal guide and advocate, representing only you and you unborn baby.
• Choose a prenatal class – this can be overwhelming as there are so many choices available and so many inadequate classes. Check out our Inside Birth® classes here where you can attend all the way through pregnancy:

https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/

The only way to make ‘informed’ decisions is to shop around and research your options.  A doula can help with these resources.  Start pregnancy by making confident choices and you will be on the way to maintaining your power.

REMEMBER:

• EVERY decision you make during pregnancy and birth is being made on behalf of your baby.
• EACH choice has an impact on your baby, so choose wisely
• TRUST your gut instinct. Pregnant women are extremely intuitive.  It is the beginning of parenting so TRUST.
• LISTEN to what your body and baby are telling you
• QUESTION everything! Why are you doing?……… What results can I expect if?……..How will this impact my baby?…………What if I do nothing?…………..
• BE O.K. with buying time to do your own research before making a decision
• KEEP YOUR POWER and let your unborn baby know that you will protect and keep him safe by making the best decisions and never handing over your power.

YES!

When I studied midwifery in the early 1970’s, men were just being ‘allowed’ in the labour ward.  This was certainly considered to be a progressive move.  They did however, need written permission from their ‘wife’s’ doctor, to be present at the birth (of their baby!)  It seemed to me, as a lowly student at the time, that most senior midwives did not ‘approve’ or like this idea.  Nor did most doctors.  It was thought that Dad would most likely faint, be sick, or just be a nuisance and get in the way.  It was routine for men to gather in the smoke filled (Yes, you are reading correctly), Dad’s waiting room, usually close to the labour ward, and wait for a midwife to announce the arrival and sex of their baby.

SO TIMES HAVE CHANGED…………….BUT

I see many women in my Hypnotherapy practice for a birth debrief and healing.  They are often extremely traumatised.  They are angry, questioning, and have very little understanding of the why, what, how and when.  They often come with their medical records, which can be very helpful in putting some decisions into context – according to the records.  However it is the very deep and painful emotional trauma where hypnosis and Time Line® Therapy works brilliantly and quickly.

WHAT ABOUT DAD

I am seeing more and more men who recognise how traumatic the birth of their baby has been for them.  All the attention and resources are focused on Mum and baby but men experience the birth in a very different way.  They often have nobody to talk to, or don’t know how to find the words to describe what it was like for them.  Many men are ‘observers’ of birth – even those that are closely involved – but birth is not happening to them.  They worry about the safety of their partner AND their baby.  Through hypnotherapy men can heal and it often only takes 1 session.  I always do separate session with a Mum and Dad.

WHAT ABOUT THE BABY

A couple will learn how important it is to heal the birth experience for their baby and will leave the session with lots of ideas about how they can do this together.  Through hypnosis the ‘blueprint’ of the birth experience for the baby, can be changed.

NOW AND THE FUTURE

This healing gives invaluable insights into what they would do differently for the next pregnancy and empowers them with knowledge in future choices.

It is essential for the future emotional stability and well-being of Mum, Dad and baby to debrief and heal, so all three DO NOT live the trauma for the remainder of their life.  All three must be connected as one.

https://birthright.com.au/services/birth-debriefing/

WHAT IS GUT INSTINCT?

The brain uses a combination of logic and emotion when making decisions of any kind. … That specific emotion, innate to us as humans, is intuition. We possess the capacity to feel, and thereby the ability to know things without consciously reasoning. The “gut feeling” is real, and we use it all the time.

PROBLEMS FACED IN PREGNANCY

PROBLEM #1

Pregnant women are bombarded with information, medical advice, non-medical advice and lots of ‘emotional’ advice.  It comes from everywhere and is always overwhelming.

PROBLEM #2

There are many decisions that need to be made very early in pregnancy with very little time to research ‘appropriate’ information to make the right choices.

PROBLEM #3

Most decisions are made based on information from friends, family, the media, movies and Google.

PROBLEM #4

Pregnant women feel pushed and pulled, even bullied, into making choices, without any time to consider the consequences for each decision.

Meanwhile you have a new little person growing and developing deep inside your womb, and with phenomenal speed.  Cells dividing, organs forming – it is quite amazing and even magical.

SHOWING RESPECT FOR YOUR INTUITION

We spend our whole lives being taught to override our intuition.  We are taught to examine things in detail, research, think things through, really think about it.  But instincts are not thoughts.  They are grounded in feelings.  And learning how to see through a thought-based reaction, to the instinct beneath it, is a powerful way to guide yourself toward a happy, healthy and connected pregnancy.

HOW TO TRUST YOUR INTUITION

• You must quiet all the noise that surrounds you
• You must quiet the years of social training
• You must quiet the ‘white noise’ of social media
• You must quiet the barrage of advice

This is easier said than done.  Trust that no matter how long you have ignored your instincts, they are definitely still there and are never more accurate than they are in pregnancy.

During my years of working with women to heal their traumatic birth experiences, the most repeated comment is “I knew it wasn’t right, I just knew something was wrong, I just knew that was not what was happening, I just knew this was not the best decision – BUT – I felt that “they” knew better than I did, so I said nothing”.  This is the biggest issue for women to resolve, the overwhelming guilt and anger, all because they did not trust their instincts enough, to speak up for what they intuitively knew was right.

Today, it is more challenging than ever, for women to block out all the noise, to sit in quiet stillness and look inward, trusting and respecting their innate feeling.  It is always right.

PREGNANT WOMEN – Always trust your instincts, they are messages from your soul

TRUST and BELIEVE that no-one knows your body and your baby better than you do.  How could they??

Your body is a powerful intuitive communicator

Inside Birth® classes gives you confidence to trust and empower you to block out the noise.

https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/

A LESSON TO BE LEARNED

In Thailand a traditional midwife apprenticeship and training began in villages and involved her watching the water buffalo birth during several seasons.  The purpose was the following:  if the water buffalo were birthing and having a straightforward labour and birth, which was the norm, and the midwife trainee tried to get close to the water buffalo or ‘help’ the water buffalo during labour, the water buffalo would KICK the trainee.  If a water buffalo was labouring and birthing and was experiencing difficulties, which NEEDED help, which was rare, the water buffalo would ALLOW a human to come into its space.

Amazing learning for the trainee midwife – to know the powers of observation and to read body language during labour and birth – to only get involved when there are clear signs that help is genuinely needed.

MEDICAL INTERVENTIONS

Interventions in human labour and birth are regarded as almost ‘normal’ procedures in many hospitals.  It is often the interventions themselves that cause many complications.  It is commonly referred to as The cascade effect:  epidural can lead to a compromised heart rate for baby, ‘noted’ foetal distress, which in turn can lead to forceps, ventouse or caesarean section – to rescue mother and baby and on it goes….

The medical interventions are now so common they are well known – rupturing membranes, induction of labour, forceps, caesarean section, ventouse, foetal monitoring etc…..

SURPRISING ‘OTHER’ COMMON INTERVENTIONS

BUT there are many other interventions that may not be obvious including anything that might stimulate the neocortex of the brain.  The neocortex is the logical, rational part of the brain and interferes with normal birth physiology.  These include:

• Bright lights
• Talking – especially asking direct questions of a labouring woman
• Loud music
• Too many people in the birthing room who appear to be ‘observing’
• Loud noises
• Not feeling ‘at home’ in your birthing environment
• Not feeling safe in your birthing environment
• Imposed restrictions to a woman’s movement
• Having a midwife/obstetrician who is not respecting your choices
• Feeling alone
• Too hot/too cold

This can cause a rise of ‘fight and flight’ hormones and decreases the body’s capacity to produce Oxytocin (the main hormone that facilitates a safe labour and birth)

WHAT IS A NORMAL PHYSIOLOGICAL BIRTH?

‘Birth that is powered by the innate human capacity of the woman and baby.  This birth is more likely to be safe and healthy because there is no unnecessary intervention that disrupts normal physiologic processes.  Supporting the normal physiologic processes of labour and birth – even in the presence of complications – has the potential to enhance best outcomes for mother and infant’

In the animal world – if there is any outside interference with labour, birth or the early postpartum – a common consequence is that the Mother animal will REJECT her baby. This is because the interference disrupts the innate physiologic response that is REQUIRED for optimal labouring, birthing, bonding and attachment. Humans are mammals – in that we produce MILK to feed our young. When there is any INTERFERENCE (intervention) during our labour/ births/ postpartum period, there are consequences – be them large or small.

We must respect a woman’s right to birth uninterrupted, and acknowledge and honour a baby’s right to enter the world quietly and gently into his mother’s arms, without interference.  Hiring a doula is the best way for a woman to feel safe, emotionally supported and be your own true advocate.

https://birthright.com.au/doulas/find-a-birth-right-doula/

The definition of ‘romance’:

“a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love” and “a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement and remoteness from everyday life”. 

A perfect description of pregnancy and birthing – especially the feeling of remoteness from everyday life!  What a beautiful design.  And how many of us would like to experience this, even when we are not pregnant.

Creating a new human is the most extraordinary event you will ever experience.  Obviously the event itself can and should be exciting, albeit quite short, but then follows 40 weeks of ‘romance’ – falling more and more in love with your little person, growing and developing at such a rapid rate.

A baby conceived with love has the very best start in life.  Focusing on this very beginning of parenting, from conception, and getting to know this unique little person that you have created together, is the key to enjoying pregnancy and therefore birthing.

Falling in love with your unborn baby is indeed exciting and mysterious.  It is a special opportunity to connect on a very deep level and you have a whole 40 weeks to introduce him to you and your world.  This allows you to block out all the inane chatter that can easily fill your head with many fears.  Focus on the true romance of a new and developing relationship and deeply falling in love.  This must is the key to enjoying pregnancy, labour and birthing.

It is sometimes very challenging for a pregnant woman to block out all the negative ‘stuff’ that she will inevitably be exposed to – unfortunately.  So often you start out in the romance bubble with love and mystery and excitement, only to find there are many who burst that bubble.

SECRET TIPS

If you want to stay on track, or you have lost your way and the fears are creeping in, or you are doubting your birthing ability then I will introduce you to my secret hypnosis strategies for staying calm and re-connect you with your innate birthing power.  Make an appointment:

http://susanrosshypnotherapy.com/

Horror birth stories are damaging.  When first pregnant, many women have an idea about how they would like to give birth.  It is all very new, exciting and can be extremely overwhelming.  Once the happy news is made public, the ‘advice’ starts and comes in from every direction.  There is probably nothing else we ever do in our lives, all those big decisions, like buying a house, car, career change, that garners so much definitive and intrusive ‘advice’.

EVERYONE IS AN EXPERT

Or are they?  Women and men initially get plenty of advice from family, then close friends, then work colleagues, then ‘other’ not so close friends, then social media, magazines, books, DVD’s, the butcher, baker and supermarket checkout person.  And the list goes on………and then comes the medical advice from GP, midwife, naturopath, acupuncturist, yoga teacher, obstetrician……

Now you can think of this in two ways:  firstly isn’t it just lovely that a whole community is showing ‘interest’ in a newly developing human who will soon be entering their world. They feel so compelled to make sure you take advantage of their ‘expert’ opinion.  After-all it should take a village to raise a child.

Secondly:  where is my privacy?  Where is respect for my personal space?  My head is spinning and this constant intrusion is affecting my clear thinking decision making ability.

WHERE IS THE ‘EXPERTISE’ COMING FROM?

Mainly from personal experience – often after having just one baby.  The main spokespeople who directly take aim at a pregnant woman, are those who are reporting the horror stories.  All pregnant women hear and read them.  Interestingly the spokespeople who have had empowering and beautiful birthing experiences tend to stay quiet.  These are the women and men who sometimes feel guilty about their amazing birth experience.  The horror birth stories definitely outweigh the beautiful stories.  Then there is the medical expertise??  It is very important for a pregnant woman to remember that it is just that – MEDICAL! Often flavoured with a personal experience.  It is inevitably negative!  It is understandable that for a pregnant woman she finds the constant bombardment of really awful stories very quickly overrides any ideas of a beautiful normal birthing experience.

DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER YOUR PREGNANCY?

The answer, unfortunately is always NO!  But you should have total control.  Birth is not a medical ‘problem’ that needs rescuing or solving.

A pregnant woman should hold all the power in decision making. All decisions made have an impact on baby and all decisions made are on behalf of the unborn baby.  Horror birth stories are not only damaging for a woman but the anxiety caused transfers directly to the unborn baby.

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH HORROR STORIES – WHAT TO SAY

1. “I’m sorry that happened to you, and it’s good to know every birth is different”
2. “Stop them from continuing. Say STOP I am only interested in hearing positive birthing stories, especially as my baby is listening to all your words” (and they are)
3. All women deserve to heal from a difficult or traumatic birth experience. This is something I specialise in so feel free to pass on my contact.  My session does heal, Mum and baby and will ultimately prevent that person from passing on a horror story to yet another pregnant woman.

To increase your chances of truly being in control of your pregnancy and birth book an Inside Birth® prenatal class and enjoy the deep connection and hypnosis techniques that will empower you truly be in control.  These classes are not just a once only program but provide ongoing support throughout pregnancy.

https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/

Breastfeeding an older child unfortunately comes with some challenges.

All the marketing and media hype suggests breasts as being sexual, but they are there to provide food.

Data from Deakin University studied families between 2008-2010 and found at 18mths age 10% of children were still breastfed and by 3.5yrs old that reduced to 1%

Women are familiar with the so-called norm of breastfeeding for 6mths. but in western culture breastfeeding for 12mths is considered to be a long time.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends ongoing breastfeeding into the second year.  Not that this is very well publicised in Australia.  It is very common in other parts of the world to see older children breastfeeding and everyone just sees it as normal.  But in western culture, whilst it is biologically normal, it is not culturally normal.

BENEFITS FOR MUM AND BABY

Breastfeeding provides optimal nutrition for the child and is probably the most convenient way to settle an unhappy toddler.  Also provides essential nutrition for all those fussy toddler eaters.  It is also the most rewarding closeness, quiet time and deep connection for Mum and child and has been shown to produce contented, happy and socially engaged children.

ARE THERE DISADVANTAGES?

Short answer is NO, apart from minor things like no alcohol, drugs, eating healthy, exercise and sleeping well – now that sounds like a great plan!  And welcome to motherhood.

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SOCIAL STIGMA

Mum’s who breastfeed older children become very skilled at doing this in public in a way that is not going to attract unwanted criticism.  It is often only other Mum’s who are tuned in to what is happening.  The advantage of the child being older and having language, you can negotiate.  I breastfed my second son until he was 3yrs old.  He had a special name for it which no-one would recognise as wanting to ‘breastfeed’.  There were a few tantrums, often in the supermarket (nice!) but most of the time he accepted to wait until we got home.  It was just so much easier than dealing with the glares.

I dream of a day where it is culturally accepted in this country and women who are in public and breastfeeding older children will be greeted with compliments of what a great job they are doing.

We live in a world that is fast paced, constant and what seems like ever increasing health problems. Health information and health contradictions can be overwhelming.  What to believe?  Who to believe?  Who is funding what research and does that influence results?

WHAT IF YOU could have a profound impact on making a positive change?

WHAT IF YOU could have a profound impact on how a new human was created, grown, birthed and parented?

WHAT IF this had a profound impact on changing lifelong physical, emotional and spiritual well-being?

If you have a desire to make REAL change happen then join our team and become a Birth and Postnatal doula, where you can guide and support healthy pregnancies which = healthy babies.

Most pregnant women experience stress and anxiety during pregnancy.  This does affect the baby in utero.  Research shows that a baby in utero who has experienced, and taken on board his mother’s stress and anxiety causes change in neurodevelopmental functioning, behavioural problems, sleep disturbance, poor cognitive performance, increased fearfulness, and later on, an increase risk of anxiety and depression.

Imagine a world where every baby is nurtured and loved in pregnancy where a deep connection and communication develops between Mum, Dad and baby.  Then imagine a joyous labour and birth where baby is welcomed into the world, where they are seen as amazing, conscious and aware beings.  As these babies grow we can see their capacity to love, to empathise with others, and to live in joy.  We then see the ripple effect grow to have greater learning capacity, emotional intelligence and creativity, and healthier families.

BIRTH & POSTNATAL DOULA TRAINING

This potential is unlimited!  And this is the very potential you will learn during your training to become a Birth Doula and postnatal doula.  The training will challenge you to become a critical thinker, giving you a deep understanding of the true value a doula brings.

Check out this SPECIAL OFFER:     https://birthright.com.au/training/birth-post-natal-doula-training/

THE SELF-SETTLING MYTH

There are many people, parents, experts who advocate the idea of teaching a baby to ‘self-settle’.  This is sold to parents as the only way to guarantee uninterrupted sleep and easier bedtimes.  It is certainly an attractive sales pitch for any sleep deprived parent.

But what if I told you that it is not possible for a baby to self-soothe or settle.  This is not something you can teach with sleep training or any other techniques.

You can, through sleep training ‘condition’ a baby NOT to cry out for attention and go to sleep without parental input, but this is NOT behaviour that is indicative of a baby who is calm or settled.  Self-soothing is a developmental stage that develops as the baby grows older.  You cannot teach something that their brains are not yet capable of.  You are not leaving your baby to self-settle you are leaving him to cry.

You are your baby’s safe place and their only way of approach is to cry out for physical contact, with you, particularly when they are not emotionally or physically developed.  Sadly many people refer to babies as ‘clingy’ or ‘manipulative’ and see the fact they need their parents to soothe them as a bad habit that should be broken.  So many experts seem to think that once a baby is fed, changed, winded and warm, then job well done and they have no further needs.  They do.  Their emotional needs are just as important as their physical ones.  Although babies experience the fight-or-flight response from a very young age, they are not neurologically developed enough to regulate the resulting emotions themselves.  They need us for that.

THE BABY’S BRAIN

At birth the baby’s brain is about a quarter of its adult size.  The brain stem and cerebellum, or the hindbrain are fairly well developed and are the first parts of the brain to develop throughout the first 18 mths.  This area of the brain is responsible for survival – temperature regulations, breathing, digestion and raw basic emotions.  The limbic system, our ‘feeling brain’, is the next to develop over the first three years.  It is responsible for emotions and relationship with others.  Lastly, the neocortex, our ‘thinking brain’, develops.  This is by far the most sophisticated area of the brain, and develops throughout childhood, adolescence, and even into the early 20’s.  This part of the brain is responsible for critical, analytical and rational thought.

Babies have incredibly underdeveloped neocortex.  Emotional self-regulation (self-soothing) is just not physically possible for babies, toddlers or pre-schoolers.  Their brains have not developed enough.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SLEEP TRAIN?

Practising sleep training, is not teaching a baby to self-soothe.  Something else is happening on a very basic primal level.  Let’s go back to the hindbrain and the fight-or-flight response.  What happens when those stress hormones reach such a level that they are toxic yet you can’t take flight or fight?  You ‘freeze’ all activity in order to try to preserve life.  Dr. William Sears calls this “Shutdown Syndrome”.  Research by Wendy Middlemiss in 2012 showed what happens during self-soothing teaching, highlighting how stressed the baby still is, despite their quietness and apparent sleeping.  Chemically we can now prove that the baby is neither soothed nor settled.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF SELF-SOOTHING

If a baby has been trained to be quiet and to not call for his parents to meet his emotional needs, then at some point the baby might not call out when they have an urgent need. A baby’s brain is not sophisticated enough to know that sometimes the parents come and sometimes they don’t, depending on what’s wrong.  Back to brain development, the research shows that the more nurturing you are toward your child in their early years, the greater their hippocampus volume, the part that is related to behavioural regulations and processing emotions.

EMOTIONAL SECURITY

Is it possible to alter your child’s brain so that they grow to have good emotions, self-regulation skills (or the real ability to self-soothe) when they are older?  Of course it is!  And the best way to do that is to pick them up, cuddle them respond to them.  Your nurturing parenting will pay dividends in the future – that is how you really help a child to develop the ability to self-soothe.

Being a parent is accepting responsibility to shape the next generation.  The techniques commonly used for teaching self-settling make the child less likely to ever learn this.

https://expectingscience.com/2016/04/21/the-middlemiss-study-tells-us-nothing-about-sleep-training-cry-it-out-or-infant-stress/

The word advocacy comes from Latin and means ‘to be called to stand beside’.

Every pregnant woman/couple needs an advocate.

In fact, everyone who walks through the doors of a hospital with a presenting problem needs an advocate.  It doesn’t matter if it’s for a ‘simple’ X-Ray, medical issue or complex surgery.
Advocacy is about helping a person to be heard in the decisions that affect their health and life.

WHY DO YOU NEED AN ADVOCATE?

Pregnancy and birth is a normal life event and a very important one.  It is a hugely emotional time often associated with many up’s and down’s.

You have no prior experience to draw on, especially if this is your first baby.  You are no doubt young, fit and very healthy and may never have been inside a hospital or had much to do with the health system.  AND this is the very reason you need an ‘expert’ to guide, support, advocate and negotiate (should this be necessary).  It can be a scary, confusing and complex system that you are entering into.  You and your baby deserve to be protected.

MEN BECOMING DAD

Many men believe they can ‘manage’ the role of advocate and negotiator in labour and birth.  They may have these skills in their professional life and believe this will seamlessly transfer to the pregnancy and birthing world.  IT WILL NOT.  Obviously there are many women who have these skills in their work environment – but not many pregnant women believe they will be able to access and use these skills effectively in labour.

Having a baby is a very special and private event in a couple’s life and understandably men, in particular, feel uncomfortable with having ‘another’ person present.  This is always an interesting argument as there is often ‘many’ ‘others’, not known to the couple, at a birth.

Having a doula allows a Dad to relax and enjoy becoming a Dad – whatever that looks like for him on the day!

UNIQUE DOULA ADVOCACY

1. A doula knows and understands the hospital system
2. A doula understands the role of an obstetrician and midwife and what  underlines certain decisions being made.
3. The mere presence of a doula provides silent accountability for staff.
4. A doula has no ‘other’ agenda but to represent the woman and her baby, safely and respectfully
5. A doula has learned how to negotiate in this environment, with respect
6. A doula has spent many months getting to know and learn about the woman, her partner and family, on a very deep level.
7. A doula has attended pregnancy check-up appointments and helped to put the jargon into understandable language.
8. A doula ensures during the pregnancy journey that a woman is fully informed about her options and that every decision she is making, is on behalf of her baby.
9. A doula has explored the woman’s fears, provided information and education.
10. A doula holds a protective space during labour which allows a woman to birth with confidence, in privacy and with much love.
11. A doula is very aware of the woman’s wishes for her birth journey, and provides much needed guidance for a birth plan which will be respected by staff.

Advocacy focuses on the needs, wishes and rights, including protection of confidentiality, of that person, and is essential for all pregnant women.

Advocacy involves standing beside someone and supporting them. Advocacy seeks a satisfactory outcome for a person, so as to enhance their rights and dignity. It has a connotation of change, challenging what is unfair, unjust and wrong.

EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN DESERVES A DOULA         

Contact Susan to discuss or find the right doula for you here:

https://birthright.com.au/doulas/find-a-birth-right-doula/