WHAT IS GUT INSTINCT?

The brain uses a combination of logic and emotion when making decisions of any kind. … That specific emotion, innate to us as humans, is intuition. We possess the capacity to feel, and thereby the ability to know things without consciously reasoning. The “gut feeling” is real, and we use it all the time.

PROBLEMS FACED IN PREGNANCY

PROBLEM #1

Pregnant women are bombarded with information, medical advice, non-medical advice and lots of ‘emotional’ advice.  It comes from everywhere and is always overwhelming.

PROBLEM #2

There are many decisions that need to be made very early in pregnancy with very little time to research ‘appropriate’ information to make the right choices.

PROBLEM #3

Most decisions are made based on information from friends, family, the media, movies and Google.

PROBLEM #4

Pregnant women feel pushed and pulled, even bullied, into making choices, without any time to consider the consequences for each decision.

Meanwhile you have a new little person growing and developing deep inside your womb, and with phenomenal speed.  Cells dividing, organs forming – it is quite amazing and even magical.

SHOWING RESPECT FOR YOUR INTUITION

We spend our whole lives being taught to override our intuition.  We are taught to examine things in detail, research, think things through, really think about it.  But instincts are not thoughts.  They are grounded in feelings.  And learning how to see through a thought-based reaction, to the instinct beneath it, is a powerful way to guide yourself toward a happy, healthy and connected pregnancy.

HOW TO TRUST YOUR INTUITION

• You must quiet all the noise that surrounds you
• You must quiet the years of social training
• You must quiet the ‘white noise’ of social media
• You must quiet the barrage of advice

This is easier said than done.  Trust that no matter how long you have ignored your instincts, they are definitely still there and are never more accurate than they are in pregnancy.

During my years of working with women to heal their traumatic birth experiences, the most repeated comment is “I knew it wasn’t right, I just knew something was wrong, I just knew that was not what was happening, I just knew this was not the best decision – BUT – I felt that “they” knew better than I did, so I said nothing”.  This is the biggest issue for women to resolve, the overwhelming guilt and anger, all because they did not trust their instincts enough, to speak up for what they intuitively knew was right.

Today, it is more challenging than ever, for women to block out all the noise, to sit in quiet stillness and look inward, trusting and respecting their innate feeling.  It is always right.

PREGNANT WOMEN – Always trust your instincts, they are messages from your soul

TRUST and BELIEVE that no-one knows your body and your baby better than you do.  How could they??

Your body is a powerful intuitive communicator

Inside Birth® classes gives you confidence to trust and empower you to block out the noise.

https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/

 

A LESSON TO BE LEARNED

In Thailand a traditional midwife apprenticeship and training began in villages and involved her watching the water buffalo birth during several seasons.  The purpose was the following:  if the water buffalo were birthing and having a straightforward labour and birth, which was the norm, and the midwife trainee tried to get close to the water buffalo or ‘help’ the water buffalo during labour, the water buffalo would KICK the trainee.  If a water buffalo was labouring and birthing and was experiencing difficulties, which NEEDED help, which was rare, the water buffalo would ALLOW a human to come into its space.

Amazing learning for the trainee midwife – to know the powers of observation and to read body language during labour and birth – to only get involved when there are clear signs that help is genuinely needed.

MEDICAL INTERVENTIONS

Interventions in human labour and birth are regarded as almost ‘normal’ procedures in many hospitals.  It is often the interventions themselves that cause many complications.  It is commonly referred to as The cascade effect:  epidural can lead to a compromised heart rate for baby, ‘noted’ foetal distress, which in turn can lead to forceps, ventouse or caesarean section – to rescue mother and baby and on it goes….

The medical interventions are now so common they are well known – rupturing membranes, induction of labour, forceps, caesarean section, ventouse, foetal monitoring etc…..

SURPRISING ‘OTHER’ COMMON INTERVENTIONS

BUT there are many other interventions that may not be obvious including anything that might stimulate the neocortex of the brain.  The neocortex is the logical, rational part of the brain and interferes with normal birth physiology.  These include:

• Bright lights
• Talking – especially asking direct questions of a labouring woman
• Loud music
• Too many people in the birthing room who appear to be ‘observing’
• Loud noises
• Not feeling ‘at home’ in your birthing environment
• Not feeling safe in your birthing environment
• Imposed restrictions to a woman’s movement
• Having a midwife/obstetrician who is not respecting your choices
• Feeling alone
• Too hot/too cold

This can cause a rise of ‘fight and flight’ hormones and decreases the body’s capacity to produce Oxytocin (the main hormone that facilitates a safe labour and birth)

WHAT IS A NORMAL PHYSIOLOGICAL BIRTH?

‘Birth that is powered by the innate human capacity of the woman and baby.  This birth is more likely to be safe and healthy because there is no unnecessary intervention that disrupts normal physiologic processes.  Supporting the normal physiologic processes of labour and birth – even in the presence of complications – has the potential to enhance best outcomes for mother and infant’

In the animal world – if there is any outside interference with labour, birth or the early postpartum – a common consequence is that the Mother animal will REJECT her baby. This is because the interference disrupts the innate physiologic response that is REQUIRED for optimal labouring, birthing, bonding and attachment. Humans are mammals – in that we produce MILK to feed our young. When there is any INTERFERENCE (intervention) during our labour/ births/ postpartum period, there are consequences – be them large or small.

We must respect a woman’s right to birth uninterrupted, and acknowledge and honour a baby’s right to enter the world quietly and gently into his mother’s arms, without interference.  Hiring a doula is the best way for a woman to feel safe, emotionally supported and be your own true advocate.

https://birthright.com.au/doulas/find-a-birth-right-doula/

The definition of ‘romance’:

“a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love” and “a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement and remoteness from everyday life”. 

A perfect description of pregnancy and birthing – especially the feeling of remoteness from everyday life!  What a beautiful design.  And how many of us would like to experience this, even when we are not pregnant.

Creating a new human is the most extraordinary event you will ever experience.  Obviously the event itself can and should be exciting, albeit quite short, but then follows 40 weeks of ‘romance’ – falling more and more in love with your little person, growing and developing at such a rapid rate.

A baby conceived with love has the very best start in life.  Focusing on this very beginning of parenting, from conception, and getting to know this unique little person that you have created together, is the key to enjoying pregnancy and therefore birthing.

Falling in love with your unborn baby is indeed exciting and mysterious.  It is a special opportunity to connect on a very deep level and you have a whole 40 weeks to introduce him to you and your world.  This allows you to block out all the inane chatter that can easily fill your head with many fears.  Focus on the true romance of a new and developing relationship and deeply falling in love.  This must is the key to enjoying pregnancy, labour and birthing.

It is sometimes very challenging for a pregnant woman to block out all the negative ‘stuff’ that she will inevitably be exposed to – unfortunately.  So often you start out in the romance bubble with love and mystery and excitement, only to find there are many who burst that bubble.

SECRET TIPS

If you want to stay on track, or you have lost your way and the fears are creeping in, or you are doubting your birthing ability then I will introduce you to my secret hypnosis strategies for staying calm and re-connect you with your innate birthing power.  Make an appointment:

http://susanrosshypnotherapy.com/

 

Horror birth stories are damaging.  When first pregnant, many women have an idea about how they would like to give birth.  It is all very new, exciting and can be extremely overwhelming.  Once the happy news is made public, the ‘advice’ starts and comes in from every direction.  There is probably nothing else we ever do in our lives, all those big decisions, like buying a house, car, career change, that garners so much definitive and intrusive ‘advice’.

EVERYONE IS AN EXPERT

Or are they?  Women and men initially get plenty of advice from family, then close friends, then work colleagues, then ‘other’ not so close friends, then social media, magazines, books, DVD’s, the butcher, baker and supermarket checkout person.  And the list goes on………and then comes the medical advice from GP, midwife, naturopath, acupuncturist, yoga teacher, obstetrician……

Now you can think of this in two ways:  firstly isn’t it just lovely that a whole community is showing ‘interest’ in a newly developing human who will soon be entering their world. They feel so compelled to make sure you take advantage of their ‘expert’ opinion.  After-all it should take a village to raise a child.

Secondly:  where is my privacy?  Where is respect for my personal space?  My head is spinning and this constant intrusion is affecting my clear thinking decision making ability.

WHERE IS THE ‘EXPERTISE’ COMING FROM?

Mainly from personal experience – often after having just one baby.  The main spokespeople who directly take aim at a pregnant woman, are those who are reporting the horror stories.  All pregnant women hear and read them.  Interestingly the spokespeople who have had empowering and beautiful birthing experiences tend to stay quiet.  These are the women and men who sometimes feel guilty about their amazing birth experience.  The horror birth stories definitely outweigh the beautiful stories.  Then there is the medical expertise??  It is very important for a pregnant woman to remember that it is just that – MEDICAL! Often flavoured with a personal experience.  It is inevitably negative!  It is understandable that for a pregnant woman she finds the constant bombardment of really awful stories very quickly overrides any ideas of a beautiful normal birthing experience.

DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL OVER YOUR PREGNANCY?

The answer, unfortunately is always NO!  But you should have total control.  Birth is not a medical ‘problem’ that needs rescuing or solving.

A pregnant woman should hold all the power in decision making. All decisions made have an impact on baby and all decisions made are on behalf of the unborn baby.  Horror birth stories are not only damaging for a woman but the anxiety caused transfers directly to the unborn baby.

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH HORROR STORIES – WHAT TO SAY

1. “I’m sorry that happened to you, and it’s good to know every birth is different”
2. “Stop them from continuing. Say STOP I am only interested in hearing positive birthing stories, especially as my baby is listening to all your words” (and they are)
3. All women deserve to heal from a difficult or traumatic birth experience. This is something I specialise in so feel free to pass on my contact.  My session does heal, Mum and baby and will ultimately prevent that person from passing on a horror story to yet another pregnant woman.

To increase your chances of truly being in control of your pregnancy and birth book an Inside Birth® prenatal class and enjoy the deep connection and hypnosis techniques that will empower you truly be in control.  These classes are not just a once only program but provide ongoing support throughout pregnancy.

https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/

 

Breastfeeding an older child unfortunately comes with some challenges.

All the marketing and media hype suggests breasts as being sexual, but they are there to provide food.

Data from Deakin University studied families between 2008-2010 and found at 18mths age 10% of children were still breastfed and by 3.5yrs old that reduced to 1%

Women are familiar with the so-called norm of breastfeeding for 6mths. but in western culture breastfeeding for 12mths is considered to be a long time.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends ongoing breastfeeding into the second year.  Not that this is very well publicised in Australia.  It is very common in other parts of the world to see older children breastfeeding and everyone just sees it as normal.  But in western culture, whilst it is biologically normal, it is not culturally normal.

BENEFITS FOR MUM AND BABY

Breastfeeding provides optimal nutrition for the child and is probably the most convenient way to settle an unhappy toddler.  Also provides essential nutrition for all those fussy toddler eaters.  It is also the most rewarding closeness, quiet time and deep connection for Mum and child and has been shown to produce contented, happy and socially engaged children.

ARE THERE DISADVANTAGES?

Short answer is NO, apart from minor things like no alcohol, drugs, eating healthy, exercise and sleeping well – now that sounds like a great plan!  And welcome to motherhood.

HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SOCIAL STIGMA

Mum’s who breastfeed older children become very skilled at doing this in public in a way that is not going to attract unwanted criticism.  It is often only other Mum’s who are tuned in to what is happening.  The advantage of the child being older and having language, you can negotiate.  I breastfed my second son until he was 3yrs old.  He had a special name for it which no-one would recognise as wanting to ‘breastfeed’.  There were a few tantrums, often in the supermarket (nice!) but most of the time he accepted to wait until we got home.  It was just so much easier than dealing with the glares.

I dream of a day where it is culturally accepted in this country and women who are in public and breastfeeding older children will be greeted with compliments of what a great job they are doing.

We live in a world that is fast paced, constant and what seems like ever increasing health problems. Health information and health contradictions can be overwhelming.  What to believe?  Who to believe?  Who is funding what research and does that influence results?

WHAT IF YOU could have a profound impact on making a positive change?

WHAT IF YOU could have a profound impact on how a new human was created, grown, birthed and parented?

WHAT IF this had a profound impact on changing lifelong physical, emotional and spiritual well-being?

If you have a desire to make REAL change happen then join our team and become a Birth and Postnatal doula, where you can guide and support healthy pregnancies which = healthy babies.

Most pregnant women experience stress and anxiety during pregnancy.  This does affect the baby in utero.  Research shows that a baby in utero who has experienced, and taken on board his mother’s stress and anxiety causes change in neurodevelopmental functioning, behavioural problems, sleep disturbance, poor cognitive performance, increased fearfulness, and later on, an increase risk of anxiety and depression.

Imagine a world where every baby is nurtured and loved in pregnancy where a deep connection and communication develops between Mum, Dad and baby.  Then imagine a joyous labour and birth where baby is welcomed into the world, where they are seen as amazing, conscious and aware beings.  As these babies grow we can see their capacity to love, to empathise with others, and to live in joy.  We then see the ripple effect grow to have greater learning capacity, emotional intelligence and creativity, and healthier families.

BIRTH & POSTNATAL DOULA TRAINING

This potential is unlimited!  And this is the very potential you will learn during your training to become a Birth Doula and postnatal doula.  The training will challenge you to become a critical thinker, giving you a deep understanding of the true value a doula brings.

Check out this SPECIAL OFFER:     https://birthright.com.au/training/birth-post-natal-doula-training/

THE SELF-SETTLING MYTH

There are many people, parents, experts who advocate the idea of teaching a baby to ‘self-settle’.  This is sold to parents as the only way to guarantee uninterrupted sleep and easier bedtimes.  It is certainly an attractive sales pitch for any sleep deprived parent.

But what if I told you that it is not possible for a baby to self-soothe or settle.  This is not something you can teach with sleep training or any other techniques.

You can, through sleep training ‘condition’ a baby NOT to cry out for attention and go to sleep without parental input, but this is NOT behaviour that is indicative of a baby who is calm or settled.  Self-soothing is a developmental stage that develops as the baby grows older.  You cannot teach something that their brains are not yet capable of.  You are not leaving your baby to self-settle you are leaving him to cry.

You are your baby’s safe place and their only way of approach is to cry out for physical contact, with you, particularly when they are not emotionally or physically developed.  Sadly many people refer to babies as ‘clingy’ or ‘manipulative’ and see the fact they need their parents to soothe them as a bad habit that should be broken.  So many experts seem to think that once a baby is fed, changed, winded and warm, then job well done and they have no further needs.  They do.  Their emotional needs are just as important as their physical ones.  Although babies experience the fight-or-flight response from a very young age, they are not neurologically developed enough to regulate the resulting emotions themselves.  They need us for that.

THE BABY’S BRAIN

At birth the baby’s brain is about a quarter of its adult size.  The brain stem and cerebellum, or the hindbrain are fairly well developed and are the first parts of the brain to develop throughout the first 18 mths.  This area of the brain is responsible for survival – temperature regulations, breathing, digestion and raw basic emotions.  The limbic system, our ‘feeling brain’, is the next to develop over the first three years.  It is responsible for emotions and relationship with others.  Lastly, the neocortex, our ‘thinking brain’, develops.  This is by far the most sophisticated area of the brain, and develops throughout childhood, adolescence, and even into the early 20’s.  This part of the brain is responsible for critical, analytical and rational thought.

Babies have incredibly underdeveloped neocortex.  Emotional self-regulation (self-soothing) is just not physically possible for babies, toddlers or pre-schoolers.  Their brains have not developed enough.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SLEEP TRAIN?

Practising sleep training, is not teaching a baby to self-soothe.  Something else is happening on a very basic primal level.  Let’s go back to the hindbrain and the fight-or-flight response.  What happens when those stress hormones reach such a level that they are toxic yet you can’t take flight or fight?  You ‘freeze’ all activity in order to try to preserve life.  Dr. William Sears calls this “Shutdown Syndrome”.  Research by Wendy Middlemiss in 2012 showed what happens during self-soothing teaching, highlighting how stressed the baby still is, despite their quietness and apparent sleeping.  Chemically we can now prove that the baby is neither soothed nor settled.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF SELF-SOOTHING

If a baby has been trained to be quiet and to not call for his parents to meet his emotional needs, then at some point the baby might not call out when they have an urgent need. A baby’s brain is not sophisticated enough to know that sometimes the parents come and sometimes they don’t, depending on what’s wrong.  Back to brain development, the research shows that the more nurturing you are toward your child in their early years, the greater their hippocampus volume, the part that is related to behavioural regulations and processing emotions.

EMOTIONAL SECURITY

Is it possible to alter your child’s brain so that they grow to have good emotions, self-regulation skills (or the real ability to self-soothe) when they are older?  Of course it is!  And the best way to do that is to pick them up, cuddle them respond to them.  Your nurturing parenting will pay dividends in the future – that is how you really help a child to develop the ability to self-soothe.

Being a parent is accepting responsibility to shape the next generation.  The techniques commonly used for teaching self-settling make the child less likely to ever learn this.

 

https://expectingscience.com/2016/04/21/the-middlemiss-study-tells-us-nothing-about-sleep-training-cry-it-out-or-infant-stress/

The word advocacy comes from Latin and means ‘to be called to stand beside’.

Every pregnant woman/couple needs an advocate.

In fact, everyone who walks through the doors of a hospital with a presenting problem needs an advocate.  It doesn’t matter if it’s for a ‘simple’ X-Ray, medical issue or complex surgery.
Advocacy is about helping a person to be heard in the decisions that affect their health and life.

WHY DO YOU NEED AN ADVOCATE?

Pregnancy and birth is a normal life event and a very important one.  It is a hugely emotional time often associated with many up’s and down’s.

You have no prior experience to draw on, especially if this is your first baby.  You are no doubt young, fit and very healthy and may never have been inside a hospital or had much to do with the health system.  AND this is the very reason you need an ‘expert’ to guide, support, advocate and negotiate (should this be necessary).  It can be a scary, confusing and complex system that you are entering into.  You and your baby deserve to be protected.

MEN BECOMING DAD

Many men believe they can ‘manage’ the role of advocate and negotiator in labour and birth.  They may have these skills in their professional life and believe this will seamlessly transfer to the pregnancy and birthing world.  IT WILL NOT.  Obviously there are many women who have these skills in their work environment – but not many pregnant women believe they will be able to access and use these skills effectively in labour.

Having a baby is a very special and private event in a couple’s life and understandably men, in particular, feel uncomfortable with having ‘another’ person present.  This is always an interesting argument as there is often ‘many’ ‘others’, not known to the couple, at a birth.

Having a doula allows a Dad to relax and enjoy becoming a Dad – whatever that looks like for him on the day!

UNIQUE DOULA ADVOCACY

1. A doula knows and understands the hospital system
2. A doula understands the role of an obstetrician and midwife and what  underlines certain decisions being made.
3. The mere presence of a doula provides silent accountability for staff.
4. A doula has no ‘other’ agenda but to represent the woman and her baby, safely and respectfully
5. A doula has learned how to negotiate in this environment, with respect
6. A doula has spent many months getting to know and learn about the woman, her partner and family, on a very deep level.
7. A doula has attended pregnancy check-up appointments and helped to put the jargon into understandable language.
8. A doula ensures during the pregnancy journey that a woman is fully informed about her options and that every decision she is making, is on behalf of her baby.
9. A doula has explored the woman’s fears, provided information and education.
10. A doula holds a protective space during labour which allows a woman to birth with confidence, in privacy and with much love.
11. A doula is very aware of the woman’s wishes for her birth journey, and provides much needed guidance for a birth plan which will be respected by staff.

Advocacy focuses on the needs, wishes and rights, including protection of confidentiality, of that person, and is essential for all pregnant women.

Advocacy involves standing beside someone and supporting them. Advocacy seeks a satisfactory outcome for a person, so as to enhance their rights and dignity. It has a connotation of change, challenging what is unfair, unjust and wrong.

EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN DESERVES A DOULA         

 

Contact Susan to discuss or find the right doula for you here:

https://birthright.com.au/doulas/find-a-birth-right-doula/

Your Vision?

 

 

 

“the only thing worse than being blind, is having sight but no vision” – Helen Keller

5 Questions to gain a clear vision for your career as an Educator/Doula

1.  Where do you want to be in the future?
2. What do you want to accomplish?
3. What is the destination that you want to arrive at?
4. Why do you want to get there?
5. When do you want to get there?

Take some time to answer these questions as a means of working towards your vision for your Educator/Doula career.
A clear vision points you toward what you want to be in life.

Knowing your destination will keep you travelling on the right road.

In simple terms ‘goals’ tend to be the ‘how’ you achieve something and ‘vision’ is much more about ‘why’.

When you reflect at the successful completion of your educator/doula training:
1.  What do you want to see?
2.  What do you want to be able to do?
3.  How do you imagine and want it to be?

The Combined Training we offer at Birth Right will set you up for a career that will impact and change how babies are created, grown, birthed and parented.

Life does not begin at or after birth, as many still believe.

Your training will focus on how early imprints in the womb affect birth, attachment and parenting. Learning how to teach this to new parents will have a profound influence on the parent/baby connection in utero, during birthing and long into the future.

You will understand prenatal consciousness and how each baby has his own unique womb experience.

These prenatal experiences and the environment in the womb, influence a baby’s perceptions of life, sense of family and whether the world is safe or not. When parents truly enjoy this womb connection, from the beginning, it will have a profound effect on the remainder of their pregnancy and will positively affect birthing outcomes.

Creating and realising your vision is simple.  Start by envisioning the best version of yourself – in this career as a successful Educator/Doula – truly making a difference.

Get in touch and let’s talk

 

https://birthright.com.au/training/combined-training/

Susan Ross and the Birth Right team are hosting this documentary, followed by a Q&A

EVERY HUMAN SHOULD SEE THIS!

A mind bending look at just how early our life circumstances affect us.  An unmissable viewing experience if you have even an ounce of curiosity about the course of human events

IN UTERO is a cinematic rumination on what will emerge as the most provocative subject of the 21st Century – life in the womb and its lasting impact on human development, human behaviour, and the state of the world.

IN UTERO brings together for the first time convincing data that explains why some of us face challenges from the start while others thrive. Prepare to be surprised, intrigued, but no longer baffled by what the future holds for yourself, your loved ones, and the human race.

SYNOPSIS

IN UTERO is a cinematic rumination on what will emerge as the most provocative subject of the 21st Century – life in the womb and its lasting impact on human development, human behaviour, and the state of the world. Epigenetics, Alice In Wonderland, The Matrix, scientists, psychologists and doctors converge to prove that we are not what we think we are. IN UTERO brings together for the first time convincing data that explains why some of us face challenges from the start while others thrive. Prepare to be surprised, intrigued, but no longer baffled by what the future holds for yourself, your loved ones, and the human race.

Venue:  Kindle Hill, Lake Street, Wentworth Falls

Date:  Sunday, 8^th July, 2018

Time:  2.00p.m. – 4.00p.m.

Tickets:  $20 at door or book at Eventbrite.  https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/in-utero-doco-screening-tickets-47202018508

 

Come and meet some of our fabulous team

When does parenting really being?  When should we, as a society, pour resources into developing and educating babies and children?

Governments ‘talk’ about the importance of early childhood development, but I’m not convinced they really understand it is one of the best investments a country can make – to boost economic growth, promote peaceful and sustainable societies, eliminate poverty and inequality – simply by creating happy, healthy new humans.

It is the right of every child to not just survive but to thrive physically, emotionally and spiritually.

What is vital for healthy growth and development is that all children receive nurturing, loving care.

TYPES OF PARENTING

Everyone remembers Benjamin Spock who was an American Paediatrician whose book Baby and Child Care (1946) is one of the best sellers of all time.  I love this quote from him:  for mothers: “you know more than you think you do”

Spock advocated ideas about parenting that were, at the time, considered out of the mainstream. Over time, his books helped to bring about major change. Previously, experts had told parents that babies needed to learn to sleep on a regular schedule, and that picking them up and holding them whenever they cried would only teach them to cry more and not to sleep through the night. They were told to feed their children on a regular schedule, and that they should not pick them up, kiss them, or hug them, because that would not prepare them to be strong and independent individuals in a harsh world. In contrast Spock encouraged parents to see their children as individuals, and not to apply a one-size-fits all philosophy to them.

There has, of course, been a plethora of books on PARENTING since 1946, all of which promote various ‘types of parenting techniques’ – all presented with very strong beliefs that ‘their’ method is the ‘right’ one.  My observations over the decades has shown new parents are extremely vulnerable and are looking for practical solutions from ‘experts’ about how to raise their child.

Today there are plenty of parents who passionately believe in the importance of making sure their baby is in a ‘routine’, sleeps in their own cot/bed, and in their own room and who advocate letting them cry – the ‘let them know who is boss’ philosophy.

‘Attachment parenting’ is probably the opposite of the above and is a substantial movement of like-minded parents who believe a secure attachment is an advantage for a whole life time. The parent’s sensitivity to the needs of the child is a major determinant in whether a secure or insecure attachment will develop.

‘Authoritative parenting’: is where the parent provides structure and sets limits, but explains reasons for punishments in an effort to encourage independence. … the theory is children will grow up to be emotionally secure and enjoy higher self-esteem when they learn to separate from their parents at their own pace.

‘Gentle attachment parenting’ : The word discipline comes from the word disciple and means to teach. The discipline advocated by gentle parenting families is internalised. They argue that to offer rewards and punishments overrides a child’s natural inclination to try. It teaches them to behave in certain ways for a reward, or to avoid punishment.

The time from conception to three years of age, is when the brain is most susceptible to environmental influences.  Education, nurturing and love from conception, not only promotes physical, emotional, social and cognitive development, it produces lifelong benefits for health, productivity, socialisation and emotional well-being.

During this time, from conception to three, the brain develops at an astounding pace.  This is the crucial age when children form their first attachments and develop their first concepts – optimistic or fearful – of the world in which they will live.

Dr. Marian Diamond, Ph.D. Emeritus Professor of integrative biology at the University of California, states:  ‘if governments put millions of dollars into early childhood development, but the appropriate brain to receive the education, has not been developed – then this is a waste of money.  It is important to be sure that the brain has developed well – in utero’

Dr. Thomas Verney, Psychiatrist, in his book “The Secret Life of the Unborn Baby” states “.

“The ideas and the love a mother has for her baby, the richness of their communication, all have a determining influence on the baby’s physical development, the landmarks of its personality and character predisposition.”

When parents tune into and respond to their children’s needs, they will develop a secure attachment to their mothers and fathers, a base from which they can thrive.

Children without secure parental bonds are more likely to have behaviour and literacy problems.

So the question:  WHEN SHOULD PARENTING BEGIN?

ANSWER:  IN UTERO –  from conception.  

Our Inside Birth® prenatal course (and training) will show you the philosophy behind IN UTERO connection, education and love.  You will have fun, you will learn to truly trust and rely on your own instincts because no-one knows your unborn baby better than you do, and you will accept the power of your deep connection IN UTERO – without ever having to refer to a parenting book.

https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/

Economic studies reveal how the lack of nurtured development creates immense long-term cost to families, society and governments.

https://birthright.com.au/training/inside-birth-childbirth-educator-training/

In a research study, one series of I.Q. tests were given to children aged 2 – 4 years. How many children do you think were found to be highly creative with curious, questioning minds and an ability for abstract thinking?

The results were: 95%. Now imagine what happened when the same children were tested again at age 7. Only 5% still demonstrated high levels of creativity. In those few short years, they had learned to conform; “If you want to get along, you had better go along,” is what they had discovered.

The Dangers of Conformity

They had learned to colour between the lines, to sit in neat little rows, to do and say what the other kids did and said, and to do as they were told. Over time, they lost the wonderful fearless spontaneity of youth and learned to suppress ideas and insights that were unusual or different.

Today this is often expressed on social media by jumping onto anyone who thinks ‘differently’ or expresses an ‘out there’ opinion.  We may think that humans in 2018 are intelligent and are free to express creative ideas and insights but in reality this is still a very conservative and conforming society.

Conformity does not lead to critical thinking and positive change

Many people are not willing or have lost the capacity to think outside the box for fear of not conforming and being ridiculed and criticised.  And to think it gets knocked out of children by the age of 7 is quite shocking.

HOW CAN WE MAINTAIN AND PROMOTE A CHILDS NATURAL CURIOSITY AND QUESTIONING MIND?

WHAT WOULD THE WORLD BE LIKE IF THEY GREW UP TO AGGRESSIVELY SEEK NEW IDEAS?

Creativity is a birthright and new parents can begin this with their unborn baby – yes, you are reading correctly!  Start the education and creativity in utero with lots of fun games and interaction.  This way of thinking will be deeply embedded in the baby’s unconscious mind, which they will be able to tap in to easily and quickly for the rest of their life.  They will grow up knowing that creativity and healthy questioning is normal with an ability for abstract thinking.

If you want to understand MINDPOWER and the way it works in utero, then Inside Birth® Training is for you.  This training will give you all the tools you need to start your own Inside Birth® antenatal classes.  You will be teaching parents about MINDPOWER and how to engage in a fun and intelligent way with their unborn baby.

The Inside Birth® training is ‘outside the box’, you will learn how to deliver antenatal classes differently.  Teaching the power of the mind is a skill, not just for pregnancy and birthing, but for life – for Mum, Dad & baby.  Let us teach our children the importance of a questioning, curious and creative mind, and lets start IN UTERO.

Take advantage of our Early Bird offer for our next training in Nov.

https://birthright.com.au/training/inside-birth-childbirth-educator-training/

Time Line® Therapy was developed by the wonderful Dr. Tad James in 1985, applying a therapeutic process to the concept of an internal memory storage system.  The result was a collection of techniques which produces long-lasting transformation very quickly.  These techniques provide the best method to make fast, effective, long-term changes in behaviour.

Your ‘Time Line’ is how you unconsciously store your memories or how you unconsciously know the difference between a memory from the past and a projection of the future.  Behavioural change in an individual takes place at an unconscious level.  People don’t change consciously.

The Time Line Therapy® process allows you to work at the unconscious level and release the effects of past negative experiences and change inappropriate programming in minutes, rather than days, months or years.

Time Line Therapy® techniques are a unique and unmatched method for creating powerful change in business, education, and therapy. Time Line Therapy® utilises a person’s own internal “Time Line” to work with their unconscious minds in a variety of ways; including, healing emotional traumas and eradicating unwanted thoughts, emotions and behaviours.

Time Line Therapy® has been so successful in its results that it has been utilized since 1986 by thousands of people including psychiatrists, psychologists, marriage and family counsellors, social workers, life and business coaches, and even sport coaches:

• To let go of Negative Emotions from the past
• To let go of Limiting Decisions from the past
• Create our future the way we want

NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Time Line Therapy® techniques allow freedom from undesired negative emotions; such as fear, anger, sadness and anxiety by releasing these emotions from the memories that harvest them. You are then able to react freely to future situations – without the emotional baggage of the past

LIMITING DECISIONS

Limiting decisions and beliefs prevent you from achieving your potential. These decisions and beliefs have come about as a result of past experiences but may have stayed with you until today and have limited your life in many ways. Time Line Therapy® techniques allow you to leave these decisions and beliefs in the past where they belong and to learn from your experiences.

CREATING YOUR FUTURE

Finally, having resolved the unresolved issues in the past, Time Line Therapy® gives us a specific way of creating our future dreams and goals in a simple process that produces results. The process involves using our imagination to create a compelling future that is inspirational and which brings about the desired outcomes.

I am always amazed at how quickly a client gets results from Time Line® Therapy. If you are frustrated by ‘talking therapies’ that take weeks, months or even years, and have not experienced the results you want, then make an appointment today and experience the value from Time Line® Therapy.

MAKE AN APPOINTMENT TODAY:

CONTACT SUSAN:  0419 606 171

FACE TO FACE APPOINTMENTS AVAILABLE 

IN THE BLUE MOUNTAINS or in the privacy of  your home via Skype

 

‘Free birthing’ or ‘unassisted birthing’ is the process of intentionally giving birth at home without the assistance of a midwife.

Many in society would be shocked to think that a woman would even consider this option because we have been so conditioned to believe and accept that a birth should happen in a hospital, and many also believe it should be with a doctor.  There are still, today, many people who do not know or understand that having a midwife as a caregiver is an option – unfortunately not for all women in all parts of Australia.

A doctor is trained to diagnose and fix parts of the body that are broken – and for the most part they do that well, except there is nothing medically wrong with pregnancy and birth so what needs fixing?  A midwife is specifically trained to care for normal pregnancies, normal labour and birth and to recognise when a problem arises and to refer to the appropriate specialist. 

Problems in pregnancy and birthing are, of course, rare events – but once again that is not what our society has been conditioned to believe.  Women are bombarded with horror birth stories from an early age, from their own mother and family, movies, books and the intense over-sharing social media – and so it becomes ‘the norm’!

Just to clarify that ‘free birth’ is not home birth.  There are registered home birth midwives who provide an amazing service to women during their pregnancy, labour, birth and postnatally.

What makes women choose a ‘free birth’?

1. Women who have experienced a very negative previous hospital birth that has been emotionally and physically devastating
2. Women who have been abused in some way, emotionally, psychologically, verbally and sometimes physically – these women have NO trust in the system or the staff
3. FEAR – this is the underlying reason for many of these choices. It is often not a conscious fear but one that has gained momentum, in the mind, over a long period of time.  Extreme fear of hospitals (nosocomephobia).  Fear of doctors (latrophobia), or fear of medical intervention (often from stories they have heard)
4. A strong belief that birth is normal and does not require any medical monitoring. Interference in a birth comes with huge risks which happen only in hospitals.
5. This last one is important and that is You don’t know what you don’t know!  A midwife has many years of training and experience in recognising a problem which would benefit from medical attention.  And whilst we have incredibly high medical intervention rates in this country, most of which are unnecessary, medical care and attention has its place.

HOW TO ENSURE A WOMAN FEELS SAFE, PROTECTED AND HAS CHOICE

Firstly the FEAR must be addressed.  Hypnotherapy is a powerful tool for tapping into the fear in the unconscious mind and healing – quickly and easily         https://birthright.com.au/#

Secondly helping women to truly explore their choices, and how to shop around for the ‘right’ midwife, for a homebirth or birth centre experience.  Acknowledge and respect the midwife’s extraordinary training and skills.

Thirdly – employ a doula – the right doula who can provide a safe, respectful and dignified space for women to travel through their pregnancy, labour and birth in their own way, understanding the rights of the baby to enter the world gently, quietly and in his own time and SAFELY.  One who knows how to advocate on behalf of the woman and her baby with respect.  https://birthright.com.au/doulas/find-a-birth-right-doula/

“Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom.” – Francis Bacon.

We live in such a noisy world, especially if you are in a large city.  We are bombarded with many difference sounds throughout the day – some pleasant, some not.  It is quite rare to experience true silence.  I am lucky enough to live in the beautiful Blue Mountains in NSW, in a particularly quiet space.  I spend 1 or 2 days per week in the inner city of Sydney.  I love to sit by the harbour and soak up the wonderful sounds emanating from life on the harbour – I even feel very peaceful and quiet, until I get back to the Blue Mountains where true quiet reigns supreme, and realise quiet, stillness and silence is almost impossible to experience in a big city.

WHY SILENCE MATTERS

Research throughout the past century has linked noise pollution to an increase in heart disease and tinnitus. The World Health Organization likened it to a “modern plague” and stated that “there is overwhelming evidence that exposure to environmental noise has adverse effects on the health of the population.”

It is not just the general noise around us, that we have no control over, we actually choose to bombard our body with radio, music, phone, TV, news, podcasts and conversation daily.

As the noise in our lives gets louder, more people are beginning to seek out silence, by meditating for 10-30 minutes a day or attending a silent retreat.  In 2011, 100 scientists took part in a silent retreat and discovered that shutting off speech heightens awareness in other areas. They practised vipassana meditation in silence, which aims to promote overall well-being.

10 days in absolute silence is not for everyone but finding time for silence in your life is something that will bring you and your brain much reward.

SILENCE RELIEVES STRESS

Noise has a pronounced physical effect on the brain, which often leads to increased production of stress hormones. Sound waves arrive at the brain in the form of electrical signals via the ear, which the body reacts. In particular, the amygdala (the part of the brain that is associated with memory formation and emotion) is activated, which leads to the release of the stress hormone cortisol.

A 2006 study to feature in the Heart journal showed that silence can release tension in the brain and body in just a couple of minutes. Researchers found silence to actually be more relaxing than listening to so-called “relaxing” music.

SILENCE REPLENISHES MENTAL RESOURCES

The never-ending attention demands of modern living place a significant burden on the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is involved in high-order thinking, decision-making and problem solving.

All the decision making processes we go through in a day drains these resources. Noise and incessant sound drains it even further.  This can affect our focus, to solve problems and to think about new ideas.

Meditating in silence, or in the quiet stillness you find when walking alone in nature, or swimming, gives your brain the chance to let down its sensory guard.  We can once again tap into our creativity, we can reflect and enjoy the other restorative benefits. As Herman Melville wrote, “All profound things and emotion of things are proceeded and attended by silence.”

THE BRAIN’S DEFAULT MODE 

In silence the brain is disengaged from all that external stimuli, and we get to go deeper into our unconscious mind, rather than being constantly held in the shallow surfaces of the mind, with all of life’s daily distractions.

SILENCE IMPROVES SLEEP

Evidence suggests that periods of silence throughout the day can enhance sleep and lessen insomnia.

SILENCE IMPROVES MEMORY

Simply going for a walk in nature alone can cause brain growth in the hippocampus, which also can lead to better memory function. A 2011 study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences showed that adults who walked for 40 minutes three times a week for a year had brain growth in the hippocampus, the area of the brain associated with spatial memory. Silence does this and immersing ourselves in nature helps the brain to have better memory consolidation.

Science says that silence is good for your brain and general health, but common sense also tells us that spending some time in silence (in your mind) each day is good for you.

RECOMMENDATION:  If you do not practise any form of meditation and do not spend any time in silence, then do yourself a favour and start right now to experience the enormous benefits.  Start slowly, just 5 minutes a day and once you build up to 15 or 20 minutes you will find you cannot live without a regular practice of pure silence in your day.

The power that comes from intuition has gone for many pregnant woman.  The gut instinct that is so profoundly tuned to what is happening for a pregnancy and baby.  It has been lost, slowly eroded over time due to ‘other’s’ fears and inability to believe that what a pregnant woman knows about the health of her unborn baby, should be trusted.  It is all very well to say trust your body, follow your body’s lead, trust your baby, because mostly that is the opposite of what a pregnant woman is hearing, seeing and reading about.  These powerful suggestions prove time and time again to suppress and dampen a woman’s innate intelligence.

When women are relaying their traumatic birth experience in a hypnotherapy session, I hear over and over again women saying “I knew this wasn’t right, I just felt that my baby was actually O.K. and what they were telling me was not what was really happening, I had a gut feeling that I did not need this medical intervention…..”  BUT I felt all my power was taken away, and in a split second, all decisions were out of my control.  This common reporting is deeply disturbing.

One of the basic problems is a culture has developed that sends the message to women that you need medical help to have a baby.  This culture says it is quite normal to choose a doctor and a hospital to give birth.  Just think for a moment about that.  What is a doctors skill?  A:  to diagnose and fix a medical problem.  And many of them are very good at doing just that.  What is a hospital for?  A:  to fix sick people who have disease or are injured, or need surgery.  What needs fixing about pregnancy and birthing?  A:  nothing!

GETTING THE POWER BACK

True intelligence activates natural nurturing during pregnancy, birthing and bonding.  All these capacities are deep within every woman and have been built up over millions of years.  Women change when they become pregnant.  They are acutely aware of their true intelligence and connection with their unborn baby.  And then…… the onslaught of advice, classes, hospitals, doctors, midwives, books, media, movies and a society with a very flawed view of birthing hit her like a tornado, and is so overwhelming and confusing that it has become difficult, if not impossible for a pregnant woman to just connect with her true intelligence and trust herself and her choices.  If we can just get the intellect out of the way, all of these natural processes unfold spontaneously and brilliantly and are expressed naturally because the baby opens up innate intelligences within the mother.

When you have a system that TEACHES women how to have a pregnancy, how to give birth, how to bond, how to breastfeed, and how to parent it is hugely disempowering.  We must stop this intellectual interference in childbirth.  When you teach these things the message is very clear to the pregnant woman – You do not know how to do any of this and you must follow my (the expert teacher!) instructions and I will show you how.  This could not be more damaging.

At our Inside Birth® Educator Training you will learn to inspire women, deep within their inner mind, to get the ‘intellect’ out of the way to allow all their natural processes to unfold spontaneously.  We don’t teach the ‘how to’!

At Inside Birth® we specialise in reconnecting the true intelligence in women, to believe and trust in their instinct or gut feeling because they are always right.  Take advantage of early bird offer.  I will show you how to set up a powerful business teaching Inside Birth® and reconnect women with their true intelligence.

https://birthright.com.au/training/inside-birth-childbirth-educator-training/

BLIND FAITH is “belief without true understanding, perception or discrimination”.

So BLIND FAITH is when someone puts their faith into something without any evidence.

Once upon a time – not so long ago – most people had absolute blind faith in teachers, doctors, dentists, psychologists, psychiatrists and everyone had blind faith and respect for their parents.  Children were taught this from a very early age and so grew a generation or two that did not question anyone in ‘authority’.   As many adults could now report, as a child, it was simply not in ones DNA to question.  This indeed made for a simple life in many ways, well, certainly for those in authority.  As a child I did exactly as my parents told me and had a strong understanding that I must have total respect for my teachers and anyone wearing a uniform.  It was a given.  Those in ‘authority’ were right – end of story!

The problems this thinking created was unprecedented power to those in authority, many of whom abuse this in sometimes quite shocking ways.  It provides an unbalanced and unhealthy relationship.

THE BENEFIT OF QUESTIONING

Questioning is a major form of human thought and interpersonal communication. It involves employing a series of questions to explore an issue, an idea or something intriguing. Questioning is the process of forming and wielding that serves to develop answers and insight.

No-one can make a truly Informed Decision without questioning, without doing due diligence, without shopping around so you can make the right choice for you.  Having BLIND FAITH simply gives all the power to one person and in the case of pregnancy care and birthing choices, every woman has the right to question as all her decisions are being made on behalf of her unborn baby.

Take the case of one young ‘pregnant’ Dad, a 38 yr old professional whose partner was due to give birth in a few weeks.  Booked with a private doctor and private hospital and when invited to ask questions his reply was  – “I don’t have any questions or concerns, I haven’t done any reading or Googling because I have total faith in the doctor and hospital to deliver my baby and do the right thing”!  WOW!  So no faith in your partner to birth your baby???

This is quite extraordinary and concerning.  Once you become pregnant you begin your parenting journey – from conception.  Every test, ultrasound or other invasive procedure impact the unborn baby.  You have a responsibility to question – everything!  To show the baby you ‘have his back’, to reassure you will not let anyone do anything to jeopardise his physical, emotional and mental well-being in utero or on the outside.  This is a basic human right for the unborn baby.  Do not hand over your child’s welfare to anyone without questioning.  It is Your labour, Your birth, and Your baby.  It is no other person or institution’s responsibility.  Begin at conception and always teach your baby/child to question.  A hospital is not going to ‘deliver’ your baby.  A doctor is not going to ‘deliver’ your baby.  You are a birthing woman and you can birth your baby.  Pregnancy and birth is not a medical issue.  It is a very normal event in a woman’s life.  Take charge and be empowered and question – everything until you are satisfied with the answers.

When pregnant for the first time, it is a brand new event in a couple’s life.  It does not come with a manual, although there have been many attempts, in the form of books, television, and movies and with no previous experience it is often difficult to know what to ask and most importantly what answers you should be getting.

This is why I highly recommend hiring a doula who is experienced in guiding you through this process, protecting your rights and empowering you to make the right decisions for you and your baby     https://birthright.com.au/doulas/find-a-birth-right-doula/

You can also find a list of questions to ask in my book:  Birth Right

https://birthright.com.au/product/birth-right/

Most importantly do not hand over your birthing power to anyone.  It is yours to keep and hold onto.

Letting go of emotional baggage will free you to create your desired future.  Having and holding on to negative emotions changes brain chemistry.  This altered chemistry perpetuates more negative thinking and a downward spiral begins.

Negative emotions are not safe for the body.  Each negative emotion has an impact and can contribute to health problems such as:

Anger:  heart attack, raised cholesterol

Sadness:  weakened immune system, depression

Fear:  excessive stress, PTSD, phobia

Guilt:  lowered healing energy

When you feel good, your brain releases chemicals like serotonin and oxytocin. When you’re stressed, your body releases cortisol, kicking you into survival mode. So in every sense, the things we think and the things we feel are able to impact us physically in quite profound ways.

People HAVE behaviours, they are NOT their behaviours.  Each person has inside them all the resources they need to make change happen.  All that is needed is new information and strategies to assist in making the change.

MEMORIES AND YOUR TIME LINE

Your “Time Line” is how you unconsciously store your memories or how you unconsciously know the difference between a memory from the past and a projection of the future.  Behavioural change in an individual takes place at an unconscious level.  People don’t change consciously.  The Time Line Therapy® process allows you to work at the unconscious level and release the effects of past negative experiences and change “inappropriate” programming in minutes rather than days, months or years.

WHAT IS TIME LINE® THERAPY

Time Line® Therapy is a process that assists in:

1. Letting go of negative emotions from the past
2. Letting go of limiting decisions from the past
3. Creating a future that you want

Negative Emotions – Time Line Therapy® techniques allow freedom from undesired negative emotions such as anger, fear, sadness and anxiety, by releasing these emotions from the memories that harvest them.  A person is then able to react freely to future situations – without the emotional baggage of the past

Limiting decisions and beliefs prevent you from achieving your potential. These decisions and beliefs have come about as a result of past experiences but may have stayed with you and have limited your life in many ways. Time Line Therapy® techniques allow you to leave these decisions and beliefs in the past where they belong and to learn from your experiences. This gives you the opportunity to create useful and empowering alternatives.

Creating Your Future – Time Line Therapy® gives you a specific way of creating your future dreams and goals in a simple process that produces results

Are negative emotions holding you back from achieving what you want in life?

If you want to gain emotional control over your life then Time Line Therapy® together  with some hypnotherapy techniques, will allow you to eliminate many issues in your past, freeing you to move forward and create goals and desires you want.

Contact:  Susan Ross to make an appointment:  0419 606 171  e:  susanmrossO@gmail.com

Hypnotherapist, NLP Coach, Time Line® Therapist

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BABY

Everything a pregnant woman thinks and feels is transmitted to her unborn baby through neuro-hormones.  A baby also becomes aware of his Dad’s communication during pregnancy.

https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/a-grey-area-barnaby-joyce-raises-doubts-over-whether-he-s-the-biological-father-of-vikki-campion-s-baby-20180303-p4z2ob.html

Most pregnant women are very aware of the damage alcohol, nicotine and other drugs can do to the unborn baby, but many are not aware that maternal anxiety, depression or stress alters the intelligence and personality of her unborn baby by altering the wiring in their brain.

During the journey of growth and development for the 9 months in utero the unborn baby registers every experience in the circuitry of his or her brain.  Whenever a mother strokes her baby, whenever a father plays with his baby/child, those physiological acts will be instantly converted to neuro-hormonal processes that transform the body and wire the brain of the child.

Evidence that babies are sensitive, cognitive and vulnerable to trauma from experiences in the womb and at birth comes from various sources.  There are many women who have a natural connection and exchange of thoughts and feelings with their unborn baby, acknowledging their unborn baby is an aware person with whom they can converse and receive responses.  Laying down this loving, intelligent blueprint is an essential responsibility that many pregnant women assume.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWgp4f0xOe0&authuser=1

So when you have a very public statement from a ‘father’ announcing to the world that he is unsure if he is the biological father of his unborn child, imagine how that must feel for that baby.  And yes, know that baby is very aware of this turmoil and stress with his mother and ‘queried’ father.

Every child deserves to know who they are and where they have come from.  That is, who is my mother and who is my father.  Your identity is essential to healthy emotional and social growth and is the RIGHT of every baby.  Surely this statement from Joyce shows a lack of intelligence but most importantly, absolute disrespect for an unborn baby’s rights.

At our Inside Birth® prenatal classes you will learn the importance of emotional and intelligent connection with the unborn baby and how to lay down a beautiful imprint, preparing for a beautiful welcome to the outside world.  Book now with one of our Inside Birth® Educators here:  https://birthright.com.au/inside-birth-delivering-antenatal-classes-differently/find-an-inside-birth-educator/

 

Weaning an older child requires patience and understanding.

Breastfeeding is a wonderful thing and you are giving your baby the best start in life.  It is a powerful, beautiful connection that is indescribable to anyone who has not had this experience.  Breastfeeding is the key cementing bond which lasts a lifetime between mother and child.

My children are close together in age and I was pregnant and/or breastfeeding for 5 years – non stop!   I breastfed my first until I was 24 weeks pregnant with my second baby and then breastfed him until he was 3 years old.  By then, I was very tired, very exhausted, very drained (literally) and those 5 years are a bit of a blur, but I loved it and would do the same again, but make sure I had a whole lot more support.

It is a real challenge to wean an older child.   Generally, if the child has not initiated weaning naturally by about 18 months, then the weaning needs to be mother initiated.

WHY DO MOTHERS WANT TO WEAN

There are many reasons why women want to wean their older child.  The obvious ones are returning to work, demands of other children and partner demands.

Other reasons include:

• Over-whelming tiredness, often accompanied by understandable low iron levels.
• Very restrictive for time management
• Dealing with other people’s comments and stares when out in public
• Family pressure
• Managing work, family and breastfeeding seems impossible at times
• ‘I want my body back – especially my breasts’ is a common catchcry

WHY WOMEN FIND WEANING CHALLENGING

• GUILT – I think we marry guilt when we have children
• FEAR – of mastitis and other stuff
• FEAR – of having a very upset child, therefore more guilt
• FEAR of it not working and easily ‘giving in’ and therefore having to start all over again – at some point
• WORRY over ‘am I doing the right thing at the right time’ and will this do any long term psychological damage to my child
• Pressure from partners/family

WHY CHILDREN WANT TO CONTINUE BREASTFEEDING

Of course it can become just a habit – a very comforting habit but for many older children it is about keeping Mum close and it is their only way (in their mind) of being reassured of love and connection, especially if Mum is busy with other children and activities.

SEPARATION

A child does not see themselves as a separate person from their Mum until around 3 years.  So separation is the main event that makes weaning very difficult for the child.  Separation happens if Mum is returning to work, if child is placed in a child care centre, if child is in the care of other family members on a regular basis, and many other scenarios.  We all have ‘separation’ from our babies/children and it is about how that is managed that can make all the difference to weaning.

SOME TIPS ON WEANING AN OLDER CHILD

1. Pick the right time – it is not the right time if Mum is returning to work or any of the above scenarios.  Pick a time when your child is in a really happy stage of development and family life is running relatively smoothly – it’s never perfect!
2. Try and replace some daytime feeds with other distractions – NOT an ipad but replace with lots of cuddles, tickling games, engaged play – anything that keeps you both really close, physically, and is interesting enough to distract.
3. Talk with your child. This works brilliantly if you show them you understand their need for closeness and bonding and introduce them to other ways of having that special bond, just with Mum.
4. If your child has a doll or teddy they are particularly attached to, this can be a great way of transferring the conversation about weaning.
5. Cooking – introducing new flavour sensations with some special cooking time with just Mum is also a great distraction.
6. Relax and take the pressure off.  Look after yourself and trust the slow and gentle approach

Know this is not a quick fix.  Weaning at any age is a process that happens more quickly for some children while others take much longer.

It is important to acknowledge why your child still wants you close through the very special bond that is breastfeeding.  Take a step back and look at what else is happening in your life and why they may be ‘hanging on’ to this breastfeeding time and look at how you can wean them slowly and gently into feeling safe and confident with separating.

Don’t expect miracles overnight.

Remember every child is different.  What worked for one will not necessarily work for others.

Be patient and embrace the weaning with much love, understanding and respect for your child’s needs –  it will be worth it in the long run.